Buying a home is usually a stressful experience. So much rides on a new home because this is where you relax, have fun, sleep, eat; in short, it's the place central to your life. Not only that, but homes usually cost a whole lot of money and represent our single largest investment. Most homebuyers can usually find the objective requirements of house hunting, such as location, size, and price. But, there are also intangible factors when searching for a new home, but most people don't know what to look for.
Helping you find the flaws
This is where feng shui comes in. Using feng shui, you'll be able to spot the problems ?or the potential -- in a house that exist outside of the objective requirements of number of bedrooms, amount of storage, etc. These are features that you might not notice, and a realtor will seldom, if ever, point out to you. But, with this checklist, you can at least feel more confident about your decision to go with a particular property.
Look at the space with "feng shui eyes"
When you are looking at a house ? or any space for that matter ? and considering whether to buy it, it helps to look at it with "feng shui eyes." You will want to do this once you have considered all the other objective aspects of the house, such as square footage, number of bedrooms and bathrooms, living areas, location, price, etc.
The next step is to run down a checklist of the subjective feng shui considerations that will help you make a feng shui assessment. Even if you aren't house hunting, this list can give you some important information that might be very revealing about the house you are already in!
The list below provides some of the more serious feng shui problems.
Exterior
Street: Is house at the end of a cul-de-sac, dead end or T-junction?
Topography. Is the lot sloped away at the back? Avoid yards that slope down toward the rear. Select home with a rise at the rear. Is house below street grade? This will make for a constant "uphill" struggle while you live here.
Landscape. Is there a tree or pole directly in front of the front door? Dead trees or shrubs? Dead lawn?
Garage. Is it ahead of the house or front door?
Neighbors. Is this house smaller than houses on either side? Do neighbors' houses have sharp angles pointing at this house or appear to overpower or dominate the house?
Views & proximity. Can you see or is it close to church, temple or other house of worship? Can you see or is it close to funeral home, cemetery, hospital, police station, sewage treatment, abandoned building or run-down house?
Water. Is water, lake, river, ocean at the back of house or too close to front?
Lot. Regular or irregular-shaped? House sits too close to the front of lot? Does backyard fall away from the rear of the house?
Paths. Driveway ends at house instead of garage? Walkways end straight at door?
Interior
House style. Split, bi-level, or center hall colonial?
Front. Front door lines up with back door? Does front door face stairway?
Structure. Overhead or exposed beams? Ceilings too high or are they low and slanted? Skylights over sleeping areas or kitchen? Foundation cracks or problems? Serious plumbing or electrical problems?
Entrance. Do you see toilet/bathroom door from the entrance? See the kitchen/stove from the front door? See the dining room from the front door? See the bedroom from front door?
Toilets. Located in NW, SW, center, or corners of the house? Bedroom, dining area or kitchen located under or over toilet?
Staircases. Spiral staircase? Staircase stops at front door? Split or scissor-style staircase?
Hallways. Too long? Divide the house into two sections? Too dark?
Bedrooms. Over garage? Over bathroom or laundry? Have empty space below, i.e., patio area? Is master bedroom too close to the front door?
Fireplace. In the NW portion of the house? Is it in the Southeast (wealth) sector?
Major locations. Problems with or missing sections in Northwest (man), Southwest (woman), North (career), or Southeast (wealth)? Bathroom, laundry, kitchen in center of house?
Odor. Smells musty, smoky, putrid?
Enlist a professional
Still not perfectly confident? Well, a home is a major purchase and we must always consider that important point. Most people take a used car to their mechanic before buying it - and its purchase isn't as important as a house. So, if you're still confused or just want to proceed with the sale in confidence, why not talk to a feng shui specialist about looking about the prospective house?
A professional feng shui consultant should be able to tell you what you can expect from this location, such as good financial or business opportunities. Or, maybe you'll find out that buying this house means your health will suffer, you'll discover an afflicted portion of the house, such as a toilet in the SW sector that can hurt your marriage. Give serious consideration to hiring a professional.
Fortunately, most problems have a feng shui fix
It's important to know that every house has "feng shui flaws" and that no house is perfect. However, you should be aware of what you are buying so that you are knowledgeable about what kinds of problems might be associated with the house. The good news? Most feng shui flaws can be corrected.
Kathryn Weber is a certified master practitioner in classical feng shui and the publisher of The Red Lotus Letter a weekly feng shui E-Zine. She has been featured and quoted by publications and websites, including Seventeen Magazine, First for Women, Martial Arts Professional, the Indy Star Newspaper, Self-growth.com, and Transformations.com. Log on to www.redlotusletter.com to subscribe or to contact her about a personal consultation, speaking engagement, or workshop.
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Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
workplace health sins
Eating at your desk
Image © AP/PA Photos
Remember that manky work area of yours? Hardly the best eating environment, is it? Yet recent research showed that the average British worker takes just two hours for lunch a week, with the majority eating at their bacteria-infested desk, which only makes things worse. This also means workers are not taking enough of a break in the middle of the day. Do your health a favour by taking a proper break from work and eat in a cleaner, healthier environment.
Image © AP/PA Photos
Remember that manky work area of yours? Hardly the best eating environment, is it? Yet recent research showed that the average British worker takes just two hours for lunch a week, with the majority eating at their bacteria-infested desk, which only makes things worse. This also means workers are not taking enough of a break in the middle of the day. Do your health a favour by taking a proper break from work and eat in a cleaner, healthier environment.
Weight Loss Recipe: Fish In Orange Sauce
Lean protein is your diet is essential to weight loss and weight maintenance. Fish is an excellent source of lean protein as it is lower in fat that red meats.
Long term weight loss isn't about hunger, misery and crash dieting. It's a whole new way of learning to prepare nutritious food that your body needs and enjoys. "Fish in Orange Sauce" is one of a range of hunger fighting, low fat recipes to assist you keep your weight under control. This irresistible, no-hassle meal will help you reach your weight-loss goals - while making mealtime a real treat.
Variety is an essential element of any successful health program. If you get bored with foods, you're much more likely to abandon your program altogether. Each main meal should be accompanied by an exciting range of colorful vegetables.
Fish in Orange Sauce (serves four)
Ingredients
Juice of 2 oranges
Juice of 1 lemon
1 teaspoon margarine
ผ teaspoon black pepper, coarsely ground
4 fillets fish
small quantity of plain flour
Directions
1. Place juices, margarine and pepper in pan.
2. Cook until slightly reduced.
3. Dust fish with flour.
4. Add to sauce and poach until just cooked, turning once.
5. Lift out onto serving plates. Spoon sauce over the fish.
Nutrition per serve
166 calories, carbohydrate 4g, protein 27g, fat 4g.
Kim Beardsmore is a weight loss consultant whose business operates across 60 countries. This world renowned, medically approved program will give you results you'll love and all the support you need! Estimate your body fat percentage and register for our weight loss ezine and further recipes at http://leanmachine.org/?refid=fshrngsc-33187
Long term weight loss isn't about hunger, misery and crash dieting. It's a whole new way of learning to prepare nutritious food that your body needs and enjoys. "Fish in Orange Sauce" is one of a range of hunger fighting, low fat recipes to assist you keep your weight under control. This irresistible, no-hassle meal will help you reach your weight-loss goals - while making mealtime a real treat.
Variety is an essential element of any successful health program. If you get bored with foods, you're much more likely to abandon your program altogether. Each main meal should be accompanied by an exciting range of colorful vegetables.
Fish in Orange Sauce (serves four)
Ingredients
Juice of 2 oranges
Juice of 1 lemon
1 teaspoon margarine
ผ teaspoon black pepper, coarsely ground
4 fillets fish
small quantity of plain flour
Directions
1. Place juices, margarine and pepper in pan.
2. Cook until slightly reduced.
3. Dust fish with flour.
4. Add to sauce and poach until just cooked, turning once.
5. Lift out onto serving plates. Spoon sauce over the fish.
Nutrition per serve
166 calories, carbohydrate 4g, protein 27g, fat 4g.
Kim Beardsmore is a weight loss consultant whose business operates across 60 countries. This world renowned, medically approved program will give you results you'll love and all the support you need! Estimate your body fat percentage and register for our weight loss ezine and further recipes at http://leanmachine.org/?refid=fshrngsc-33187
Easy Holiday Quick Bread Recipes
Quick breads are a quick, easy accompaniment to any holiday meal.
For the best-tasting holiday quick breads, here are some helpful hints:
- Only grease the bottoms of the loaf pans or the sides of the bread will pull away from the sides of the baking pan.
- Bake in the center of the center rack of the oven.
- When adding liquids to the dry ingredients, stir only until dry ingredients are moistened. Batter will be lumpy.
- Quick breads can be made ahead and frozen from 1 to 2 months.
Cranberry Pumpkin Bread
2 eggs, beaten slightly
2 cups sugar
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 cup canned pumpkin
2 1/4 cups flour
1 cup chopped cranberries
1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine eggs, sugar, vegetable oil, and pumpkin, mixing well. Combine flour, pumpkin pie spice, baking soda, and salt in a large bowl. Make a well in the center of the batter and add the pumpkin. Stir in cranberries. Spoon batter into 2 greased and floured loaf pans. Bake for 1 hour.
Cranberry Bread
2 cups flour
1 egg
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 cup cranberries, sliced
1 cup sugar
1 cup nuts, chopped (optional)
2 tablespoons butter
1 teaspoon baking soda
Juice and rind of 1 orange
1/2 teaspoon salt
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Add water to orange juice to make 3/4 cup liquid. Mix all ingredients together and pour into a greased loaf pan. Bake for 30 minutes.
Pumpkin Bread
5 cups flour
4 cups sugar
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
4 eggs
1 cup vegetable oil
1 large can pumpkin
2 cups nuts (optional)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl, mix together vegetable oil, sugar, and eggs. In another bowl, mix together flour and baking soda. Add flour and pumpkin alternately to the egg mixture. Add nuts. Pour into 2 greased loaf pans. Bake for 1 hour.
Apple Bread
3 cups flour
2 cups sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
2 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 1/4 cups oil
2 apples, chopped
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup chopped nuts (optional)
1 teaspoon baking soda
Preheat oven to 300 degrees. In a large bowl, mix together all ingredients until well blended. Pour batter into 2 greased loaf pans. Bake for about 1 hour.
Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom who is the author of What's for Dinner?, an e-cookbook containing more than 250 quick easy dinner ideas. For more recipes, organizing tips, home decorating, crafts, holiday hints, and more, visit Creative Homemaking at http://www.creativehomemaking.com.
For the best-tasting holiday quick breads, here are some helpful hints:
- Only grease the bottoms of the loaf pans or the sides of the bread will pull away from the sides of the baking pan.
- Bake in the center of the center rack of the oven.
- When adding liquids to the dry ingredients, stir only until dry ingredients are moistened. Batter will be lumpy.
- Quick breads can be made ahead and frozen from 1 to 2 months.
Cranberry Pumpkin Bread
2 eggs, beaten slightly
2 cups sugar
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 cup canned pumpkin
2 1/4 cups flour
1 cup chopped cranberries
1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine eggs, sugar, vegetable oil, and pumpkin, mixing well. Combine flour, pumpkin pie spice, baking soda, and salt in a large bowl. Make a well in the center of the batter and add the pumpkin. Stir in cranberries. Spoon batter into 2 greased and floured loaf pans. Bake for 1 hour.
Cranberry Bread
2 cups flour
1 egg
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 cup cranberries, sliced
1 cup sugar
1 cup nuts, chopped (optional)
2 tablespoons butter
1 teaspoon baking soda
Juice and rind of 1 orange
1/2 teaspoon salt
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Add water to orange juice to make 3/4 cup liquid. Mix all ingredients together and pour into a greased loaf pan. Bake for 30 minutes.
Pumpkin Bread
5 cups flour
4 cups sugar
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
4 eggs
1 cup vegetable oil
1 large can pumpkin
2 cups nuts (optional)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl, mix together vegetable oil, sugar, and eggs. In another bowl, mix together flour and baking soda. Add flour and pumpkin alternately to the egg mixture. Add nuts. Pour into 2 greased loaf pans. Bake for 1 hour.
Apple Bread
3 cups flour
2 cups sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
2 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 1/4 cups oil
2 apples, chopped
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup chopped nuts (optional)
1 teaspoon baking soda
Preheat oven to 300 degrees. In a large bowl, mix together all ingredients until well blended. Pour batter into 2 greased loaf pans. Bake for about 1 hour.
Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom who is the author of What's for Dinner?, an e-cookbook containing more than 250 quick easy dinner ideas. For more recipes, organizing tips, home decorating, crafts, holiday hints, and more, visit Creative Homemaking at http://www.creativehomemaking.com.
Tasty Rice Pudding
1 cup - uncooked rice
1 teaspoon - vanilla
a pinch of salt ( if desire)
3 sticks - cinnamon
1/3 cup - sugar
2 1/2 cups water
12 0z. - evaporated milk
Bring water to boil for at least 7 minutes with cinnamon sticks, stir in rice.
When rice tenders completely stir in evaporated milk, sugar, salt and vanilla.
Cover and let it simmer for 10 minutes.
It makes up to 4 servings.
It can be serve hot or cold.
About The Author
Kenia Morales is the publisher and owner of weekly online magazine " For Every Aspect Of Today's Woman". To find a variety of women related issues and topics visit http://www.kpatra.com; info@kpatra.com
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1 teaspoon - vanilla
a pinch of salt ( if desire)
3 sticks - cinnamon
1/3 cup - sugar
2 1/2 cups water
12 0z. - evaporated milk
Bring water to boil for at least 7 minutes with cinnamon sticks, stir in rice.
When rice tenders completely stir in evaporated milk, sugar, salt and vanilla.
Cover and let it simmer for 10 minutes.
It makes up to 4 servings.
It can be serve hot or cold.
About The Author
Kenia Morales is the publisher and owner of weekly online magazine " For Every Aspect Of Today's Woman". To find a variety of women related issues and topics visit http://www.kpatra.com; info@kpatra.com
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Zucchini Carrot Salad
Summer is nearing and it is time to start thinking about serving succulent garden grown or farm fresh salads. This zesty Zucchini Carrot Salad recipe is certain not to disappoint you or your guests as it is an attractive meal to dish out after a hot summer's day! No cooking is involved; consider serving it with bread, if so desired.
Ingredients:
1 {one} bunch of romaine lettuce, cut into quarter sized pieces
1 {one} medium head iceberg lettuce, cut into quarter sized pieces
2 {two} medium or one large zucchini, sliced thinly
3 {three} green onions, sliced
1 {one} can -- 6 oz. of pitted ripe olives, small, drained
1 {one} cup thinly sliced or chopped carrots
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 cup of finely chopped bacon
1/2 cup of Italian dressing
Directions:
Toss all the ingredients together in a large bowl except for the salad dressing and the chopped bacon.
Pour dressing over the salad and toss.
If desired, sprinkle liberally with bacon.
Servings:
6 to 8 people
Substitutions:
Select imitation bacon, low calorie Italian, Caesar or Greek dressing
Another option:
You could also consider adding basil, parsley and cherry tomatoes to the salad to give it a richer, more robust Italian flavor:
If Desired, Add:
1 {one} cup of cherry tomatoes, halved
1 {one} tbsp. of parsley
Sprinkle crushed, dried basil over the salad
Matt manages the Corporate Flight Attendant Community at http://www.corporateflyer.net where the discussion is as much about food service as it is about flight.
Ingredients:
1 {one} bunch of romaine lettuce, cut into quarter sized pieces
1 {one} medium head iceberg lettuce, cut into quarter sized pieces
2 {two} medium or one large zucchini, sliced thinly
3 {three} green onions, sliced
1 {one} can -- 6 oz. of pitted ripe olives, small, drained
1 {one} cup thinly sliced or chopped carrots
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 cup of finely chopped bacon
1/2 cup of Italian dressing
Directions:
Toss all the ingredients together in a large bowl except for the salad dressing and the chopped bacon.
Pour dressing over the salad and toss.
If desired, sprinkle liberally with bacon.
Servings:
6 to 8 people
Substitutions:
Select imitation bacon, low calorie Italian, Caesar or Greek dressing
Another option:
You could also consider adding basil, parsley and cherry tomatoes to the salad to give it a richer, more robust Italian flavor:
If Desired, Add:
1 {one} cup of cherry tomatoes, halved
1 {one} tbsp. of parsley
Sprinkle crushed, dried basil over the salad
Matt manages the Corporate Flight Attendant Community at http://www.corporateflyer.net where the discussion is as much about food service as it is about flight.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Learning French in Paris
Nothing can be more frustrating than to be in France and not been able to speak their language. For, I remember the days when I was among people chanting around in a language totally alien to me, and me, trying to bring a smile in my face while shaking my head from north to south doing as if I am getting everything what they are speaking about, and waiting impatiently for my French wife to do the translation - and I can't deny, that that was not the most comfortable period of my life.
One of the most important thing thus becomes, once you land in this country, is to grasp their language as fast as possible. Unless, of course, you are planning a real short trip to this country and you have enough local French speaking acquaintances who can swim you through your brief visit.
If you are a brand eater, I think nothing stands even nearby the Alliance Fran็aise, at least so far as their international reputation is concerned. That's one of the biggest single French teaching institute, if not the biggest. But then, their course fees may not suit everybody's budget. That hovers around 10 Euros an hour + an enrolment fee of 55 Euros. If you still think to go ahead, and if the price suits you (after all, we can't forget the assurance of quality that they offer), you can speak directly to them for additional information at 01 42 84 90 00 or can send them a mail at info@alliancefr.org.
On the other end, there is a cheaper way of learning French as well, if you prefer keeping your money for some other cause, and that is to approach the local 'La Mairie' (Town hall). There are several 'La Mairie's in Paris, one in each arrondissement to be more precise, and you can simply approach the one that is found in the arrondissement where you are putting up, and they will be glad to give you details of their next session. The good thing here is that they are quite cheap, may be about 100 euros a year, and we can be sure about their quality (as it is state sponsored and it is in their interest to teach us good French), their sessions are not as often as the former one and depending on in which center you are going, chances are that their teachers don't speak English at all. Thus, if you don't have even the basics of French, Alliance Fran็aise would probably be a better bet for you. However, the best of course, is to take information personally by knocking door of the 'La Mairie' of your neighborhood.
Between these two, where you can be sure about the quality of teaching, there are plenty of others who offer French courses to foreigners. Fees and quality vary largely in those, and I would like suggesting you before getting into any of those, to try speaking with the existing students about the quality / price issue. In case you decide to carry on with this type, try taking information about the number of students per class. A bigger group is better to meet more people, but that also limits the one to one contact between you and your teacher.
Last but not the least, if you are the 'only me' type, and if your wallet is heavy enough, you also have the possibility to go for those so called private tutors. The basic principle remains the same ... you need to speak before with a student who is having experience with the same teacher.
One way to go for taking more information is to be a part of a local forum where people speaks about local issues. And a nice place for the english speaking community in Paris is the English speaking community forum where you will get a lot of information, not only about this but also a lot of other practical aspects of life in Paris as an expat.
Author is having a Master in Biological Anthropology, by hobby and profession, is the owner of a Paris based web design company 'Kigoobe'.
Anybody interested to put authors article in their site are requested to give a link back to Cr้ation site internet Paris: http://www.Kigoobe.com
One of the most important thing thus becomes, once you land in this country, is to grasp their language as fast as possible. Unless, of course, you are planning a real short trip to this country and you have enough local French speaking acquaintances who can swim you through your brief visit.
If you are a brand eater, I think nothing stands even nearby the Alliance Fran็aise, at least so far as their international reputation is concerned. That's one of the biggest single French teaching institute, if not the biggest. But then, their course fees may not suit everybody's budget. That hovers around 10 Euros an hour + an enrolment fee of 55 Euros. If you still think to go ahead, and if the price suits you (after all, we can't forget the assurance of quality that they offer), you can speak directly to them for additional information at 01 42 84 90 00 or can send them a mail at info@alliancefr.org.
On the other end, there is a cheaper way of learning French as well, if you prefer keeping your money for some other cause, and that is to approach the local 'La Mairie' (Town hall). There are several 'La Mairie's in Paris, one in each arrondissement to be more precise, and you can simply approach the one that is found in the arrondissement where you are putting up, and they will be glad to give you details of their next session. The good thing here is that they are quite cheap, may be about 100 euros a year, and we can be sure about their quality (as it is state sponsored and it is in their interest to teach us good French), their sessions are not as often as the former one and depending on in which center you are going, chances are that their teachers don't speak English at all. Thus, if you don't have even the basics of French, Alliance Fran็aise would probably be a better bet for you. However, the best of course, is to take information personally by knocking door of the 'La Mairie' of your neighborhood.
Between these two, where you can be sure about the quality of teaching, there are plenty of others who offer French courses to foreigners. Fees and quality vary largely in those, and I would like suggesting you before getting into any of those, to try speaking with the existing students about the quality / price issue. In case you decide to carry on with this type, try taking information about the number of students per class. A bigger group is better to meet more people, but that also limits the one to one contact between you and your teacher.
Last but not the least, if you are the 'only me' type, and if your wallet is heavy enough, you also have the possibility to go for those so called private tutors. The basic principle remains the same ... you need to speak before with a student who is having experience with the same teacher.
One way to go for taking more information is to be a part of a local forum where people speaks about local issues. And a nice place for the english speaking community in Paris is the English speaking community forum where you will get a lot of information, not only about this but also a lot of other practical aspects of life in Paris as an expat.
Author is having a Master in Biological Anthropology, by hobby and profession, is the owner of a Paris based web design company 'Kigoobe'.
Anybody interested to put authors article in their site are requested to give a link back to Cr้ation site internet Paris: http://www.Kigoobe.com
How To Learn Spanish Quickly and Easily
Spanish is a very useful language to learn as it is the world's second most popular language.
Outside of the popular coastal tourist resorts a basic knowledge of Spanish is invaluable. Even in the tourist resorts you will find the Spanish will not go out of their way to speak English to you. If you try a few words and get stuck you tend to find they suddenly can speak a bit of English!
The bottom line is that if you are moving to Spain and looking for work you might as well not bother if you don't learn the language. If you are a tourist then obviously you don't have to learn the language, you will get by, but learning a few basic words or expressions will actually add to the enjoyment of your holiday as you delight the locals (and yourself).
I don't think it is fair to describe learning any language as easy but if it's any consolation, there are hundreds of English words that are virtually identical in Spanish - so you already know a lot of Spanish vocabulary!
TIPS ON LEARNING SPANISH
* Get motivated. The best way to do this is to imagine your ideal outcome. If you don't do this you will most likely fail when you start hitting a few inevitable hurdles. We all go though this stage but if you have burned into your mind the positive results that will follow then you will succeed where thousands have failed. Imagine something like getting a job in your dream destination or having a relationship with a handsome Spaniard or meeting a pretty Senorita!
* Take baby steps to build your confidence. Remember that the first objective is to master a few basic words like hello, goodbye, thank you etc. This will give you confidence to go forward - DO NOT start learning long and complex words.
* Buy a good book or better still a good tape series where you can hear the language and how it sounds. Obviously you need to buy this but there are books that you will waste months on and get nowhere and there are books where you will start to be able to speak and learn Spanish very quickly.
* Don't be afraid. Fear is a terrible emotion. You have to try and speak Spanish to people otherwise you won't know how you are progressing. It really doesn't matter that you will make mistakes, it is only by making mistakes that you will learn. The worst that can happen is that the person who are talking to will not understand you, yes it's frustrating but don't beat yourself up about it.
* Go to Spain. Visiting Spain itself is a great motivator to learn the language. If you don't keep practising what you have learned then you will be surprised at how quickly it is forgotten.
* As much as you want to learn Spanish, there must be other people who are equally keen to learn English - place an ad and try finding someone who you can trade with.
* Spanish grammar is different to English - leave it at that. Don't keep trying to make sense of it in English terms - just concentrate on being able to communicate with people - otherwise you will end up confusing yourself.
* There may be thousands of Spanish words but you only need to learn a fraction of them. If you analysed your own vocabulary during the day you would be surprised to find that you are not speaking like a dictionary but instead use a very limited amount of words. Spanish is the same, you just need to know the most commonly used words.
* Turn wasted time into valuable time. Learning Spanish is great when you are doing things like driving, jogging, waiting for someone, ironing, cooking the dinner etc. The more time you practice the quicker you will accelerate your learning.
Copyright Mark Eastwood. Feel free to use this article online and in your email newsletters as long as you leave it intact and do not alter it in anyway. The byline and biography must remain in the article.
Mark Eastwood lives on the Costa Blanca coast of Spain and is the publisher of http://www.CostaBlancaUncovered.com
Outside of the popular coastal tourist resorts a basic knowledge of Spanish is invaluable. Even in the tourist resorts you will find the Spanish will not go out of their way to speak English to you. If you try a few words and get stuck you tend to find they suddenly can speak a bit of English!
The bottom line is that if you are moving to Spain and looking for work you might as well not bother if you don't learn the language. If you are a tourist then obviously you don't have to learn the language, you will get by, but learning a few basic words or expressions will actually add to the enjoyment of your holiday as you delight the locals (and yourself).
I don't think it is fair to describe learning any language as easy but if it's any consolation, there are hundreds of English words that are virtually identical in Spanish - so you already know a lot of Spanish vocabulary!
TIPS ON LEARNING SPANISH
* Get motivated. The best way to do this is to imagine your ideal outcome. If you don't do this you will most likely fail when you start hitting a few inevitable hurdles. We all go though this stage but if you have burned into your mind the positive results that will follow then you will succeed where thousands have failed. Imagine something like getting a job in your dream destination or having a relationship with a handsome Spaniard or meeting a pretty Senorita!
* Take baby steps to build your confidence. Remember that the first objective is to master a few basic words like hello, goodbye, thank you etc. This will give you confidence to go forward - DO NOT start learning long and complex words.
* Buy a good book or better still a good tape series where you can hear the language and how it sounds. Obviously you need to buy this but there are books that you will waste months on and get nowhere and there are books where you will start to be able to speak and learn Spanish very quickly.
* Don't be afraid. Fear is a terrible emotion. You have to try and speak Spanish to people otherwise you won't know how you are progressing. It really doesn't matter that you will make mistakes, it is only by making mistakes that you will learn. The worst that can happen is that the person who are talking to will not understand you, yes it's frustrating but don't beat yourself up about it.
* Go to Spain. Visiting Spain itself is a great motivator to learn the language. If you don't keep practising what you have learned then you will be surprised at how quickly it is forgotten.
* As much as you want to learn Spanish, there must be other people who are equally keen to learn English - place an ad and try finding someone who you can trade with.
* Spanish grammar is different to English - leave it at that. Don't keep trying to make sense of it in English terms - just concentrate on being able to communicate with people - otherwise you will end up confusing yourself.
* There may be thousands of Spanish words but you only need to learn a fraction of them. If you analysed your own vocabulary during the day you would be surprised to find that you are not speaking like a dictionary but instead use a very limited amount of words. Spanish is the same, you just need to know the most commonly used words.
* Turn wasted time into valuable time. Learning Spanish is great when you are doing things like driving, jogging, waiting for someone, ironing, cooking the dinner etc. The more time you practice the quicker you will accelerate your learning.
Copyright Mark Eastwood. Feel free to use this article online and in your email newsletters as long as you leave it intact and do not alter it in anyway. The byline and biography must remain in the article.
Mark Eastwood lives on the Costa Blanca coast of Spain and is the publisher of http://www.CostaBlancaUncovered.com
Learn Italian in Your Hometown
Are you interested in learning the Italian language right in your own hometown? There are several options that you can explore to find the Italian classes that are just perfect for you! First, you should consider whether you would you enjoy the interaction that takes place among students in group classes, or if you would prefer the one-on-one attention of a private instructor.
1. Group classes at community colleges: One way to learn Italian in your hometown is to find a community college that offers Italian classes in your area. The internet can be an invaluable resource and with a few clicks of the mouse you can identify exactly where there are Italian language courses available. For example, if you live in the U.S. you can go to www.community-college.org, where you will find a complete directory of all of the community colleges throughout the country. Many of them offer evening or even online classes! Simply pick the college or colleges that can be found near you and check out their curriculum.
2. Group classes at a private school or institution: Another approach would be to find an independent language school where you can take group lessons. Do you have a Berlitz near you? How about an Inlingua Center? A great way to find the best schools in your area is to talk with people in the Italian community where you live! Many Italian communities even have websites that link to valuable resources. For example, you can find out about the Italian community in Washington, DC at www.italcultusa.org, in New York at www.italcultny.org, in Chicago at www.iicch.org, in Los Angeles at www.iicusa.org or in San Francisco at www.sfiic.org. You can find an Italian community near you simply by going to www.google.com and typing in "Italian community in (Your Hometown)."
3. Private lessons: Not convinced that college classes or group lessons are for you? While group classes are more interactive and dynamic, you get less of the teacher's attention. So, how about taking private classes? There are many ways to find a good instructor. For example, you could post a free "in search of Italian instructor" ad at Craigslist - www.craigslist.org - if you live in an area that the site serves. Or, you could place an ad for free in a local newspaper or journal.
Italians take great pride in teaching their native language to non-native speakers, so simply by reaching out and asking questions, you are sure to find plenty of good advice and helpful people. Buon divertimento!
Mindy Prian is the Site Administrator of http://www.impariamo.com, a warm, welcoming community of people from all over the world who interact with one another to improve their Italian language skills.
1. Group classes at community colleges: One way to learn Italian in your hometown is to find a community college that offers Italian classes in your area. The internet can be an invaluable resource and with a few clicks of the mouse you can identify exactly where there are Italian language courses available. For example, if you live in the U.S. you can go to www.community-college.org, where you will find a complete directory of all of the community colleges throughout the country. Many of them offer evening or even online classes! Simply pick the college or colleges that can be found near you and check out their curriculum.
2. Group classes at a private school or institution: Another approach would be to find an independent language school where you can take group lessons. Do you have a Berlitz near you? How about an Inlingua Center? A great way to find the best schools in your area is to talk with people in the Italian community where you live! Many Italian communities even have websites that link to valuable resources. For example, you can find out about the Italian community in Washington, DC at www.italcultusa.org, in New York at www.italcultny.org, in Chicago at www.iicch.org, in Los Angeles at www.iicusa.org or in San Francisco at www.sfiic.org. You can find an Italian community near you simply by going to www.google.com and typing in "Italian community in (Your Hometown)."
3. Private lessons: Not convinced that college classes or group lessons are for you? While group classes are more interactive and dynamic, you get less of the teacher's attention. So, how about taking private classes? There are many ways to find a good instructor. For example, you could post a free "in search of Italian instructor" ad at Craigslist - www.craigslist.org - if you live in an area that the site serves. Or, you could place an ad for free in a local newspaper or journal.
Italians take great pride in teaching their native language to non-native speakers, so simply by reaching out and asking questions, you are sure to find plenty of good advice and helpful people. Buon divertimento!
Mindy Prian is the Site Administrator of http://www.impariamo.com, a warm, welcoming community of people from all over the world who interact with one another to improve their Italian language skills.
English Slang For Perplexed Tourists
watched the British version of 'Big Brother' recently. That's the television show which is a human hamster cage. Viewers go 'ooh' and 'aah' over the one they like or dislike, and vote to decide who leaves the house. In the interim, the contestants do tricks for the amusement of the public. The last man in gets ฃ100,000. The production company makes millions. All contestants lose any shred of dignity and anonymity.
The 2005 version had an Essex boy and Essex girl on it; modern cockneys. Their speech was replete with annoying, redundant phrases; verbal filler, if you like. This 'got on my tits' (nerves) so much I decided to compile a list of these phrases. Now any visitor to London and surrounding areas can understand the natives.
- Respect: Very much in demand by those least deserving of it; street hoodlums, wide boys, geezers, Z-list celebrities, and rap acts from Chipping Sodbury.
- Aow Roight?: Hello, is all well (between us)?
- Right?: Interrogative used to punctuate sentences. A trick to ensure your audience is listening, to what is probably banal e.g. "I went inna caff on the high road, right? and this geeza looks at me funny, right?, an' I wasn' doin nuffin', right? and so I says to 'im, I says ...
- Cheers: Thank you. Derived from the drinkers' salute.
- At the end of the day: Meaning 'when all is said and done'. A clich้. Emphasises what comes after, which is also banal e.g. "At the end of the day, you've got to look after yourself, know woh a mean?"
- Know what I mean?: Emphasises what comes before it, also usually banal. A verbal trick, to get the listener's attention. Used by those who aren't sure they're expressing themselves clearly. Which is most of the time.
- Seriously: Another 'emphasiser'. Means 'I am serious about the following' e.g. "Seriously, I am well pissed of with you, Craig". Or as a question: "My mate (friend) Sandra's had a boob job (breast enhancement)". To which one replies: "Seriously?".
- To be honest with ya: Meaning, I'm not usually. I am, rather, being earnest. An overused phrase. What follows it is not guaranteed to be sincerely meant, or trustworthy.
- Which is good: A hint on one-upmanship, and disingenuous. e.g. "I won a grand on a scratchcard yesterday. Which is good".
- Scary: Might frighten a two year old. Used by women or gays to convey faux distress. A bad hairdo can be 'scary'. A spider making a sudden dash for the plughole is 'scary'.
- As it 'appens: A hint of one-upmanship here, e.g. "I was down the dogs (at the dog track) yest'day, as it 'appens" (happens).
- 'Th' pronounced as 'F': As in 'Wan, Foo, Fwee, Foah' (One, two, three, four). There is a definite sense that this is deliberately done. A reversion to a child-like speech-impediment.
- Oi dan't kna nuffin' abaht it: I don't know anything about it. Said with an air of grievance, as is ...
- Oi dunno, DO I?: You should somehow be aware of my ignorance, possibly by telepathy. This phrase is key. If you can penetrate to its reproachful, whinging core, you will understand the modern Englishman or woman.
- No disrespect to: I am about to criticise the following person, but do not wish take responsibility for so doing i.e. I AM disrespecting so-and-so.
- Sweet, or 'Sweet as' (a nut): Response to a manoeuvre successfully accomplished, or an unexpected bonus. Often said when you've earned something you're not entitled to e.g. you've robbed a warehouse of two hundred cartons of Benson and Hedges cigarettes, and got away with it. 'Sweet!'.
- Sha ap! (Shut up): I disagree with what you are saying, but haven't the wit, patience or vocabulary to repudiate it, so I'll tell you to 'Sha ap' instead. Repeatedly.
- I'm not 'appy (about ...): I am a Lord of Creation, hear my wrath.
- End of (End of story): I have made a final pronouncement, no more need be said on this subject.
T. O' Donnell ( http://www.tigertom.com ) is an ecommerce consultant and curmudgeon living in London, UK.
The 2005 version had an Essex boy and Essex girl on it; modern cockneys. Their speech was replete with annoying, redundant phrases; verbal filler, if you like. This 'got on my tits' (nerves) so much I decided to compile a list of these phrases. Now any visitor to London and surrounding areas can understand the natives.
- Respect: Very much in demand by those least deserving of it; street hoodlums, wide boys, geezers, Z-list celebrities, and rap acts from Chipping Sodbury.
- Aow Roight?: Hello, is all well (between us)?
- Right?: Interrogative used to punctuate sentences. A trick to ensure your audience is listening, to what is probably banal e.g. "I went inna caff on the high road, right? and this geeza looks at me funny, right?, an' I wasn' doin nuffin', right? and so I says to 'im, I says ...
- Cheers: Thank you. Derived from the drinkers' salute.
- At the end of the day: Meaning 'when all is said and done'. A clich้. Emphasises what comes after, which is also banal e.g. "At the end of the day, you've got to look after yourself, know woh a mean?"
- Know what I mean?: Emphasises what comes before it, also usually banal. A verbal trick, to get the listener's attention. Used by those who aren't sure they're expressing themselves clearly. Which is most of the time.
- Seriously: Another 'emphasiser'. Means 'I am serious about the following' e.g. "Seriously, I am well pissed of with you, Craig". Or as a question: "My mate (friend) Sandra's had a boob job (breast enhancement)". To which one replies: "Seriously?".
- To be honest with ya: Meaning, I'm not usually. I am, rather, being earnest. An overused phrase. What follows it is not guaranteed to be sincerely meant, or trustworthy.
- Which is good: A hint on one-upmanship, and disingenuous. e.g. "I won a grand on a scratchcard yesterday. Which is good".
- Scary: Might frighten a two year old. Used by women or gays to convey faux distress. A bad hairdo can be 'scary'. A spider making a sudden dash for the plughole is 'scary'.
- As it 'appens: A hint of one-upmanship here, e.g. "I was down the dogs (at the dog track) yest'day, as it 'appens" (happens).
- 'Th' pronounced as 'F': As in 'Wan, Foo, Fwee, Foah' (One, two, three, four). There is a definite sense that this is deliberately done. A reversion to a child-like speech-impediment.
- Oi dan't kna nuffin' abaht it: I don't know anything about it. Said with an air of grievance, as is ...
- Oi dunno, DO I?: You should somehow be aware of my ignorance, possibly by telepathy. This phrase is key. If you can penetrate to its reproachful, whinging core, you will understand the modern Englishman or woman.
- No disrespect to: I am about to criticise the following person, but do not wish take responsibility for so doing i.e. I AM disrespecting so-and-so.
- Sweet, or 'Sweet as' (a nut): Response to a manoeuvre successfully accomplished, or an unexpected bonus. Often said when you've earned something you're not entitled to e.g. you've robbed a warehouse of two hundred cartons of Benson and Hedges cigarettes, and got away with it. 'Sweet!'.
- Sha ap! (Shut up): I disagree with what you are saying, but haven't the wit, patience or vocabulary to repudiate it, so I'll tell you to 'Sha ap' instead. Repeatedly.
- I'm not 'appy (about ...): I am a Lord of Creation, hear my wrath.
- End of (End of story): I have made a final pronouncement, no more need be said on this subject.
T. O' Donnell ( http://www.tigertom.com ) is an ecommerce consultant and curmudgeon living in London, UK.
Learn to Speak Basic Chinese (Mandarin) Words and Phrases
The Chinese Language and dialects
Each province, each city and even each village speaks their own dialect. There are hundreds of Chinese dialects in China so much so that each dialect speaker is not likely to understand another dialect speaker from another village or city. Fortunately, Mandarin, the official dialect, is understood by all dialect speakers.
Let's learn a few useful basic and common Mandarin words and phrases that will help you break barriers with your Chinese friends.
How are You? -Ni Hao Ma
Also commonly shorten to Ni Hao.
This is likely to be the first Mandarin phrase that you will ever learn. Useful as a greeting or a ice-breaker. Suitable for use with all ages and professions.
Thank You -Xie Xie.
Another polite term that is easy to remember and use.
Very Good -Hen Hao.
This is useful when giving praise for a job or task well done. Also useful as a reply to anyone who says "Ni Hao Ma?' to you.
Ni Hao Ma? (How are you?)
Hen Hao (Very Good)
No Good -Bu Hao.
This is useful when there is a need to comment on a shoddy or incomplete job or task. Can also be used as a reply to Ni Hao Ma? but may not be such a good reply.
Ni Hao Ma? (How are you?)
Bu Hao (No Good)
Very Expensive -Hen Gui.
When bargaining at the shops, this is the best term to use when driving a hard bargain.
Don't want or No -Bu Yao.
This is the best term to use for touts - street hawkers who approach you at every tourist stop to ask you to buy things. Bu Yao....will stop them in their track.
This is beautiful -Hen Piao Liang.
Use this phrase to praise something that is nice or beautiful. May also be used when meeting a pretty girl too!
Taxi -De Shi.
De Shi is the correct term but you should be understood even if you use the English word for Taxi. They sound alike anyway.
Good Bye or See You Again -Zai Jian.
Well, I guess this is another term that will be easily understood even if the English word is used.
Excuse Me -Jie Guo.
There is always a crowd in touristy areas. There are so many Chinese who wants to see the same monuments too. Rather than push your way through the crowd, using the term Jie Guo may just open the path ahead for you!
Receipt -Fa Piao.
Always ask for the receipt or Fa Piao at the shops or from a taxi. This may be useful if you need to complain about a fraud or shoddy product. Also useful if you leave behind your bag or camera in the taxi.
I don't want -Wo Bu Yao.
Useful when refusing a tout or when offered a drink too many at the Dinner table.
Ken Cheong lived, worked and travelled in China for the last 7 years. You may find more such articles at his websites. Feel free to distribute these articles as long as you mention his websites at: http://www.chinese-culture.net and http://www.quick-pain-relief.com
Each province, each city and even each village speaks their own dialect. There are hundreds of Chinese dialects in China so much so that each dialect speaker is not likely to understand another dialect speaker from another village or city. Fortunately, Mandarin, the official dialect, is understood by all dialect speakers.
Let's learn a few useful basic and common Mandarin words and phrases that will help you break barriers with your Chinese friends.
How are You? -Ni Hao Ma
Also commonly shorten to Ni Hao.
This is likely to be the first Mandarin phrase that you will ever learn. Useful as a greeting or a ice-breaker. Suitable for use with all ages and professions.
Thank You -Xie Xie.
Another polite term that is easy to remember and use.
Very Good -Hen Hao.
This is useful when giving praise for a job or task well done. Also useful as a reply to anyone who says "Ni Hao Ma?' to you.
Ni Hao Ma? (How are you?)
Hen Hao (Very Good)
No Good -Bu Hao.
This is useful when there is a need to comment on a shoddy or incomplete job or task. Can also be used as a reply to Ni Hao Ma? but may not be such a good reply.
Ni Hao Ma? (How are you?)
Bu Hao (No Good)
Very Expensive -Hen Gui.
When bargaining at the shops, this is the best term to use when driving a hard bargain.
Don't want or No -Bu Yao.
This is the best term to use for touts - street hawkers who approach you at every tourist stop to ask you to buy things. Bu Yao....will stop them in their track.
This is beautiful -Hen Piao Liang.
Use this phrase to praise something that is nice or beautiful. May also be used when meeting a pretty girl too!
Taxi -De Shi.
De Shi is the correct term but you should be understood even if you use the English word for Taxi. They sound alike anyway.
Good Bye or See You Again -Zai Jian.
Well, I guess this is another term that will be easily understood even if the English word is used.
Excuse Me -Jie Guo.
There is always a crowd in touristy areas. There are so many Chinese who wants to see the same monuments too. Rather than push your way through the crowd, using the term Jie Guo may just open the path ahead for you!
Receipt -Fa Piao.
Always ask for the receipt or Fa Piao at the shops or from a taxi. This may be useful if you need to complain about a fraud or shoddy product. Also useful if you leave behind your bag or camera in the taxi.
I don't want -Wo Bu Yao.
Useful when refusing a tout or when offered a drink too many at the Dinner table.
Ken Cheong lived, worked and travelled in China for the last 7 years. You may find more such articles at his websites. Feel free to distribute these articles as long as you mention his websites at: http://www.chinese-culture.net and http://www.quick-pain-relief.com
Silence
Silence
Silence is the only thing I hear
Silence is what I fear
Silence tells me that nothing remains
Silence tells ne that its the end of your game
As silence fills the air
I begin to wish he was there
I wish I didn't let him walk out that door
And I hate that there's nothing I can do anymore
To make him mine again
I love him more than anything but I didn't know it then
And now silence is all that's left
Silence because of an unnecessary bereft
The silence rings in my ears
Because I let go of what I should have kept near
The tears pour out of my eyes
As I lay there in silence - but that's no surprise
Silence follows me wherever I go
And the reason is quite obvious, you know
Mayra Cespedes
Silence is the only thing I hear
Silence is what I fear
Silence tells me that nothing remains
Silence tells ne that its the end of your game
As silence fills the air
I begin to wish he was there
I wish I didn't let him walk out that door
And I hate that there's nothing I can do anymore
To make him mine again
I love him more than anything but I didn't know it then
And now silence is all that's left
Silence because of an unnecessary bereft
The silence rings in my ears
Because I let go of what I should have kept near
The tears pour out of my eyes
As I lay there in silence - but that's no surprise
Silence follows me wherever I go
And the reason is quite obvious, you know
Mayra Cespedes
Banish Your Lower Back Pain Permanently Without Drugs or Surgery
It is estimated that about 80 percent of the population will suffer from low back pain at some point in their lives. The condition accounts for millions of dollars in medical expenses and lost work time and is often a perpetual misery for the sufferer. Recent evidence indicates that many cases of lower back pain can be permanently treated without medical intervention or drugs using exercise and flexibility. This article aims to provide some very basic information on LBP and offer helpful tips to individuals on dealing with the condition themselves.
What is Low Back Pain (LBP)?
LBP is a complex condition ? sometimes pain onset can be traced to a mechanical defect like a ruptured disc, while in other instances there may be no apparent cause or history of injury or trauma (for example, "tweaking your back" when bending over to pick a pencil off the floor). Growing evidence from Australia now indicates that the root cause of lower back pain may be linked to muscle imbalances and instability of the low back due to poor control of the core stabilizing muscles. Traditional methods of treating LBP often fail - being either ineffective or even worsening the condition, or providing only temporary relief. Why? The answer is simple: these treatments fail to identify and treat the muscle imbalances and low back instability leading to pain, leaving the person feeling desperate ? that the only resort is surgery.
What is the "core"?
The core is a complex of 29 muscles that act to stabilize the lower back, pelvis and hip. It is where the body's center of gravity is located and where all movement begins, since it acts as the "anchor" for nearly all the muscles in the body. The most important core muscle in terms of controlling and treating low back pain is called the transversus abdominis (TVA). This is the deepest of all the abdominal muscles and when working correctly, tightens like a corset ? bracing and stabilizing the lower back.
Studies show that in subjects without pain, the bracing of the TVA works in an unconscious, reflex action to stabilize the spine BEFORE body movement begins. However in subjects with pain, the TVA fails to work in this manner and allows for excessive movement of the spine, resulting in misalignment, altered mechanics, degeneration and pain. It is suggested that after the first incident of pain, the brain "forgets" how to activate the TVA in preparation for body movement - a possible explanation why people re-injure their backs while performing light, everyday tasks.
How do I "retrain" my transversus to stabilize my low back?
A sure fire way to relearn how to activate the TVA is to find a rehabilitation specialist familiar with the Australian approach of Spinal Segmental Stabilization. Some practitioners use ultrasound equipment to "visualize" the muscles of the abdominal wall in operation ? providing the patient with visual biofeedback. Other less sophisticated methods is to use a blood pressure cuff (pressure biofeedback) to monitor the movement of the low back during training.
If neither of the above services are available, the person can "self coach" him or herself using the following tips:
1. Lay flat on your back with your feet in contact with the floor and the knees bent to about 90 degrees or less (crook lying position)
2. Use the tips of your 2nd and 3rd finger of one hand to find either of the iliac crests (the top of the "wings" of the pelvis just below the level of the belly button)
3. Once you have found the bone, press quite deeply on the inner ridge with the finger tips
4. Now the difficult part: gently contract the pelvic floor muscles (concentrate hard and visualize one of these images to help you: imagine pinching the hip bones together, stopping urine flow mid-stream or pinching the anal sphincter)
Do not try stomach hollowing/ vacuums or the traditional Pilates tip of "pulling your navel to your spine" as this tends to activate the wrong muscles.
Now use the fingers of your other hand to prod the muscles of your front abdominals, side abdominals and glutes (butt muscles). If you sense ANY hardening of these muscles, feel like you are having to hold your breath or you are breathing extremely shallow, you are most likely activating the wrong muscles. Concentrate solely on the pelvic muscles using the image techniques mentioned. You should be able to have a conversation and still feel the gentle hardening of the TVA under your fingers with the other muscles remaining "soft". Hold the contraction for "sets" of ten repetitions starting as short as 10 seconds and progressing to periods as long as a minute, making sure not to activate the other muscles.
Practice and strengthen
If you can effectively isolate the TVA, attempt to incorporate it in a large variety of functional body positions such as standing, sitting and kneeling. Also, try holding the TVA during the day while driving in your car or standing in line at the grocery store. To increase the strength of the TVA, try holding the contraction while slowly moving the arms and legs in the crook lying position (dead bug exercises). Once you can do this successfully, move on to bridging in several different positions. Bridging or "planking" as it is commonly called are excellent exercises for improving the strength of the entire core. An example of a bridge is to prop yourself up on your elbows and toes from the face down lying position, making sure to hold the TVA and keeping a perfectly straight body from head to toe. Try performing planking in the prone (face down), supine (face up) and side lying positions.
Remember to stretch
It is also important to begin a regimented stretching routine to restore muscle balance to the body. It is particularly important to stretch tight muscles that may be affecting the alignment of the pelvis such as the hip flexors (groin muscles), low back and hamstrings. Although it may be very difficult initially, try stretching in the standing position with good posture and with as little external support as possible ? this allows you to train balance (core stability) and flexibility at the same time. Stretching in the lunge position with the spine held vertical is excellent for stretching the hip flexors. Standing on one leg and gently pulling one knee towards the chest while maintaining a straight spine will stretch the low back. To stretch the hamstrings, place a rope or a dressing gown cord under the ball of one foot and hold on to the ends. While standing on one leg, gently pull up and towards you with the rope or cord to elevate the opposite leg directly in front of you. It is very important to keep the leg straight, with no knee bend and your toes vertical or slightly angled towards you. Hold each stretch to the point of mild discomfort (no pain) for 20-30 seconds and repeat 2-3 times. Try stretching daily as your balance and flexibility will simultaneously improve.
In conclusion, it is hoped that this article has provided some helpful information to individuals suffering from LBP. Exercise is not a guaranteed "cure all" for all cases of LBP, but anyone suffering from the condition should definitely try exercise as an alternative before deciding on surgery or spending large amounts of money on ineffective treatment methods.
David Petersen is an Exercise Physiologist/Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist and the owner and founder of B.O.S.S. Fitness Inc. based in Oldsmar, Florida. More articles and information can be found at http://www.bossfitness.com
What is Low Back Pain (LBP)?
LBP is a complex condition ? sometimes pain onset can be traced to a mechanical defect like a ruptured disc, while in other instances there may be no apparent cause or history of injury or trauma (for example, "tweaking your back" when bending over to pick a pencil off the floor). Growing evidence from Australia now indicates that the root cause of lower back pain may be linked to muscle imbalances and instability of the low back due to poor control of the core stabilizing muscles. Traditional methods of treating LBP often fail - being either ineffective or even worsening the condition, or providing only temporary relief. Why? The answer is simple: these treatments fail to identify and treat the muscle imbalances and low back instability leading to pain, leaving the person feeling desperate ? that the only resort is surgery.
What is the "core"?
The core is a complex of 29 muscles that act to stabilize the lower back, pelvis and hip. It is where the body's center of gravity is located and where all movement begins, since it acts as the "anchor" for nearly all the muscles in the body. The most important core muscle in terms of controlling and treating low back pain is called the transversus abdominis (TVA). This is the deepest of all the abdominal muscles and when working correctly, tightens like a corset ? bracing and stabilizing the lower back.
Studies show that in subjects without pain, the bracing of the TVA works in an unconscious, reflex action to stabilize the spine BEFORE body movement begins. However in subjects with pain, the TVA fails to work in this manner and allows for excessive movement of the spine, resulting in misalignment, altered mechanics, degeneration and pain. It is suggested that after the first incident of pain, the brain "forgets" how to activate the TVA in preparation for body movement - a possible explanation why people re-injure their backs while performing light, everyday tasks.
How do I "retrain" my transversus to stabilize my low back?
A sure fire way to relearn how to activate the TVA is to find a rehabilitation specialist familiar with the Australian approach of Spinal Segmental Stabilization. Some practitioners use ultrasound equipment to "visualize" the muscles of the abdominal wall in operation ? providing the patient with visual biofeedback. Other less sophisticated methods is to use a blood pressure cuff (pressure biofeedback) to monitor the movement of the low back during training.
If neither of the above services are available, the person can "self coach" him or herself using the following tips:
1. Lay flat on your back with your feet in contact with the floor and the knees bent to about 90 degrees or less (crook lying position)
2. Use the tips of your 2nd and 3rd finger of one hand to find either of the iliac crests (the top of the "wings" of the pelvis just below the level of the belly button)
3. Once you have found the bone, press quite deeply on the inner ridge with the finger tips
4. Now the difficult part: gently contract the pelvic floor muscles (concentrate hard and visualize one of these images to help you: imagine pinching the hip bones together, stopping urine flow mid-stream or pinching the anal sphincter)
Do not try stomach hollowing/ vacuums or the traditional Pilates tip of "pulling your navel to your spine" as this tends to activate the wrong muscles.
Now use the fingers of your other hand to prod the muscles of your front abdominals, side abdominals and glutes (butt muscles). If you sense ANY hardening of these muscles, feel like you are having to hold your breath or you are breathing extremely shallow, you are most likely activating the wrong muscles. Concentrate solely on the pelvic muscles using the image techniques mentioned. You should be able to have a conversation and still feel the gentle hardening of the TVA under your fingers with the other muscles remaining "soft". Hold the contraction for "sets" of ten repetitions starting as short as 10 seconds and progressing to periods as long as a minute, making sure not to activate the other muscles.
Practice and strengthen
If you can effectively isolate the TVA, attempt to incorporate it in a large variety of functional body positions such as standing, sitting and kneeling. Also, try holding the TVA during the day while driving in your car or standing in line at the grocery store. To increase the strength of the TVA, try holding the contraction while slowly moving the arms and legs in the crook lying position (dead bug exercises). Once you can do this successfully, move on to bridging in several different positions. Bridging or "planking" as it is commonly called are excellent exercises for improving the strength of the entire core. An example of a bridge is to prop yourself up on your elbows and toes from the face down lying position, making sure to hold the TVA and keeping a perfectly straight body from head to toe. Try performing planking in the prone (face down), supine (face up) and side lying positions.
Remember to stretch
It is also important to begin a regimented stretching routine to restore muscle balance to the body. It is particularly important to stretch tight muscles that may be affecting the alignment of the pelvis such as the hip flexors (groin muscles), low back and hamstrings. Although it may be very difficult initially, try stretching in the standing position with good posture and with as little external support as possible ? this allows you to train balance (core stability) and flexibility at the same time. Stretching in the lunge position with the spine held vertical is excellent for stretching the hip flexors. Standing on one leg and gently pulling one knee towards the chest while maintaining a straight spine will stretch the low back. To stretch the hamstrings, place a rope or a dressing gown cord under the ball of one foot and hold on to the ends. While standing on one leg, gently pull up and towards you with the rope or cord to elevate the opposite leg directly in front of you. It is very important to keep the leg straight, with no knee bend and your toes vertical or slightly angled towards you. Hold each stretch to the point of mild discomfort (no pain) for 20-30 seconds and repeat 2-3 times. Try stretching daily as your balance and flexibility will simultaneously improve.
In conclusion, it is hoped that this article has provided some helpful information to individuals suffering from LBP. Exercise is not a guaranteed "cure all" for all cases of LBP, but anyone suffering from the condition should definitely try exercise as an alternative before deciding on surgery or spending large amounts of money on ineffective treatment methods.
David Petersen is an Exercise Physiologist/Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist and the owner and founder of B.O.S.S. Fitness Inc. based in Oldsmar, Florida. More articles and information can be found at http://www.bossfitness.com
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Is your child running out of memory?
Some children labelled unintelligent or inattentive at school may in fact have poor memories, new research suggests. We look at how parents can tell if their child has a memory problem, and what they can do about it.
Children who get poor grades in reading and maths, who are easily distracted and have problems finishing schoolwork are often labelled 'thick' by parents and teachers.
But, for some of them at least, the problem may not actually be a lack of intelligence, or even a lack of commitment, but simply a poor memory.
And the good news for such children - and parents and teachers - is that there's something that can be done about it.
Research from Durham University suggests that 10% of children , or almost 500,000 primary school-aged children nationally, may have a working memory problem that causes them to do worse than expected at school.
The scientists there have designed the world's first tools - in the shape of a checklist and computer programme - to help teachers identify and assess children's memory capacity in the classroom. There is also an online Working Memory Tester & Trainer for parents to use at home.
Dr Tracy Alloway, who led the research, says: "Working memory is the single most important predictor of learning, much more so than IQ.
"So, when a teacher's making comments like a child's a daydreamer or lazy, it could be because the child doesn't have a big enough working memory - they forget what they need to do, so they're not able to build up on learning."
The tools are designed to assess the Working Memory Quotient (WMQ) of children aged from four upwards, and the researchers suggest that parents get their kids to take the £19.99 online WMQ test if they:
Get poor grades in reading and maths
Are easily distracted
Have problems finishing classroom assignments
Have trouble following directions from teachers
Are reluctant to answer questions in class.
The results of the test give parents and teachers a profile of the child's verbal and visual working memory, which is what enables us to complete tasks such as mental arithmetic, or memorise directions.
"The tools provide a unique profile for the child that will help their teachers build up the best strategies to help them," says Alloway.
Tackling a poor memory is harder for older children because their learning is much further behind, she says, adding: "On the other hand, older children tend to be aware that they struggle with memory, and they might have come up with strategies to improve it on their own."
The memory-boosting program the researchers have devised, a version of which is being used in more than 50 schools nationwide, includes advice on building up routines and making sure items are kept in the same location, and consistency when it comes to schedules.
These strategies allow the child to absorb more from lessons instead of worrying about which books to take where, and so on.
There are also tips on how parents can help children remember numbers and words through various games, such as giving the child one word made of two, like mailbox, and asking them to reverse the two parts, so it becomes boxmail. This encourages them to think about how the words they hear are made and so better commit them to memory.
Alloway stresses: "The value of working memory is that it actually measures a child's potential to learn, not what they've already learned. It's a pure measure of what they're capable of, whereas a test like IQ measures what a child has already learned.
"It's saying that the child has the potential to learn, so lets provide the appropriate support."
The WMQ test is available at www.memoryandlearning.com
Children who get poor grades in reading and maths, who are easily distracted and have problems finishing schoolwork are often labelled 'thick' by parents and teachers.
But, for some of them at least, the problem may not actually be a lack of intelligence, or even a lack of commitment, but simply a poor memory.
And the good news for such children - and parents and teachers - is that there's something that can be done about it.
Research from Durham University suggests that 10% of children , or almost 500,000 primary school-aged children nationally, may have a working memory problem that causes them to do worse than expected at school.
The scientists there have designed the world's first tools - in the shape of a checklist and computer programme - to help teachers identify and assess children's memory capacity in the classroom. There is also an online Working Memory Tester & Trainer for parents to use at home.
Dr Tracy Alloway, who led the research, says: "Working memory is the single most important predictor of learning, much more so than IQ.
"So, when a teacher's making comments like a child's a daydreamer or lazy, it could be because the child doesn't have a big enough working memory - they forget what they need to do, so they're not able to build up on learning."
The tools are designed to assess the Working Memory Quotient (WMQ) of children aged from four upwards, and the researchers suggest that parents get their kids to take the £19.99 online WMQ test if they:
Get poor grades in reading and maths
Are easily distracted
Have problems finishing classroom assignments
Have trouble following directions from teachers
Are reluctant to answer questions in class.
The results of the test give parents and teachers a profile of the child's verbal and visual working memory, which is what enables us to complete tasks such as mental arithmetic, or memorise directions.
"The tools provide a unique profile for the child that will help their teachers build up the best strategies to help them," says Alloway.
Tackling a poor memory is harder for older children because their learning is much further behind, she says, adding: "On the other hand, older children tend to be aware that they struggle with memory, and they might have come up with strategies to improve it on their own."
The memory-boosting program the researchers have devised, a version of which is being used in more than 50 schools nationwide, includes advice on building up routines and making sure items are kept in the same location, and consistency when it comes to schedules.
These strategies allow the child to absorb more from lessons instead of worrying about which books to take where, and so on.
There are also tips on how parents can help children remember numbers and words through various games, such as giving the child one word made of two, like mailbox, and asking them to reverse the two parts, so it becomes boxmail. This encourages them to think about how the words they hear are made and so better commit them to memory.
Alloway stresses: "The value of working memory is that it actually measures a child's potential to learn, not what they've already learned. It's a pure measure of what they're capable of, whereas a test like IQ measures what a child has already learned.
"It's saying that the child has the potential to learn, so lets provide the appropriate support."
The WMQ test is available at www.memoryandlearning.com
Friday, March 14, 2008
Stretching Exercises
Stretching exercises are important before you begin your workout. Always remember to stretch before and after your workout. Stretching exercises also give you health and fitness by making you more flexible.
This helps you in all sorts of exercises, even running, you will find stretching the leg muscles daily will give you better performance at fitness exercises such as running.
Remember for optimal health and fitness always perform stretches, as we mature we become more and more less flexible, this is why it is good to stretch daily.
Stretching exercises for health and fitness are very easy to perform. The normal ones for legs such as touching the toes and hamstring stretches are your most common stretches. For arms you can do anything from arm twists. For your upper body a great stretching exercise is to perform twists side to side with a weightless barbell behind your neck.
If you are are pursuing martial arts or want excellent flexibility in the legs then you can perform the splits each day, take it very easy when doing this if you are new to exercise, pushing your self could result in severe pain, and in some cases, even damage.
Visit http://www.weight-lifting-4u.com for further information.
This helps you in all sorts of exercises, even running, you will find stretching the leg muscles daily will give you better performance at fitness exercises such as running.
Remember for optimal health and fitness always perform stretches, as we mature we become more and more less flexible, this is why it is good to stretch daily.
Stretching exercises for health and fitness are very easy to perform. The normal ones for legs such as touching the toes and hamstring stretches are your most common stretches. For arms you can do anything from arm twists. For your upper body a great stretching exercise is to perform twists side to side with a weightless barbell behind your neck.
If you are are pursuing martial arts or want excellent flexibility in the legs then you can perform the splits each day, take it very easy when doing this if you are new to exercise, pushing your self could result in severe pain, and in some cases, even damage.
Visit http://www.weight-lifting-4u.com for further information.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
കീപിന്ഗ് യു Confident
We can all be confident when we are sure of ourselves and knowledgeable about the situation in which we find ourselves. But what happens when we are not so sure and when we are forced to step outside our comfort zone? What happens to our thinking?
First we need to control our thinking then we need to develop techniques for remaining confident in a wide variety of scenarios and to catch ourselves when confidence begins to wane.
11 Techniques to Boost Self-Confidence
First of all let's demolish a myth that some people believe about confidence ?? You don't have to be an expert in something to have confidence.
You can have 2 people learning a new task, and one person is learning to do the task with confidence, while the other is making lots of mistakes and getting flustered. It's not about how well you do a particular task, but how you feel inside as you are doing it that makes you confident. If I had to choose to be confident in one area only, I would make that area 'learning whilst making mistakes'.
First identify a situation where you would like to be more confident, for example:
o In meetings with an important person
o Giving presentations
o Giving honest feedback
o Visiting a client
o In a sales context
o Networking with friends and prospective business associates
o Meeting new friends
o At parties
o Beginning a new hobby/evening class
Write your situation here:
TECHNIQUE 1 - Context Switch
List 5 situations, in a similar context to the one you have identified above, where you are usually confident.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Next, imagine you are re-enacting one of the contexts above, feeling very confident, and answer the following questions:
1. How do you feel when you have this confidence?
2. How do you hold yourself?
3. What is going through your mind?
4. Do you have any inner dialogue? What is it saying?
5. On what are you focusing your attention?
Now adopt the thinking, inner dialogue, posture and emotions you have when confident, at times where you are lacking confidence.
The above extract is taken from our e-book Keeping You Confident
This 33 page e-book shows how confidence is dependent upon the way we think, and focuses on 11 techniques for boosting self-confidence in any situation, among strangers as well as contemporaries. Some of the other techniques in the e-book are:
o Sphere of Confidence
o Smile at your thoughts
o Compete with Yourself
o The Breath of Confidence
o Adopt Confident Gestures
More details at: http://quadrant1.co.uk/cat.php?cat=24
First we need to control our thinking then we need to develop techniques for remaining confident in a wide variety of scenarios and to catch ourselves when confidence begins to wane.
11 Techniques to Boost Self-Confidence
First of all let's demolish a myth that some people believe about confidence ?? You don't have to be an expert in something to have confidence.
You can have 2 people learning a new task, and one person is learning to do the task with confidence, while the other is making lots of mistakes and getting flustered. It's not about how well you do a particular task, but how you feel inside as you are doing it that makes you confident. If I had to choose to be confident in one area only, I would make that area 'learning whilst making mistakes'.
First identify a situation where you would like to be more confident, for example:
o In meetings with an important person
o Giving presentations
o Giving honest feedback
o Visiting a client
o In a sales context
o Networking with friends and prospective business associates
o Meeting new friends
o At parties
o Beginning a new hobby/evening class
Write your situation here:
TECHNIQUE 1 - Context Switch
List 5 situations, in a similar context to the one you have identified above, where you are usually confident.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Next, imagine you are re-enacting one of the contexts above, feeling very confident, and answer the following questions:
1. How do you feel when you have this confidence?
2. How do you hold yourself?
3. What is going through your mind?
4. Do you have any inner dialogue? What is it saying?
5. On what are you focusing your attention?
Now adopt the thinking, inner dialogue, posture and emotions you have when confident, at times where you are lacking confidence.
The above extract is taken from our e-book Keeping You Confident
This 33 page e-book shows how confidence is dependent upon the way we think, and focuses on 11 techniques for boosting self-confidence in any situation, among strangers as well as contemporaries. Some of the other techniques in the e-book are:
o Sphere of Confidence
o Smile at your thoughts
o Compete with Yourself
o The Breath of Confidence
o Adopt Confident Gestures
More details at: http://quadrant1.co.uk/cat.php?cat=24
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
What to Ask During the Interview
Don't just sit there and bob your head, waiting to answer the next question - be prepared to ask your own questions and make the interviewer know that you care!
Ask Them About the Company
If you have researched the company, you should know something about their core business. Use the information that you have found to ask good questions about the company. Show your understanding of the company and your interest in learning more.
Ask questions or make an insightful comment about the direction the company is headed.
Ask about the future of the company, where it plans to go over the next 3-5 years.
Ask the interviewer about their experience with the company.
Ask about the corporate culture.
Ask what the interviewer likes best about the company and why.
Ask what some of the key challenges facing the company are.
Job Questions
Well-qualified job candidates want to know the details of the job they are applying for. They understand that they can get the job they want, not just what they are offered. Asking questions about your responsibilities and expectations will help you look like the well-qualified candidate that they want to hire. The interviewer will respect your candid and inquisitive approach.
Ask how long the position has been open and why it is open.
Ask what your day would entail in the position.
Ask what you can do to get ahead in your new position.
Ask what challenges are facing your department within the company.
Ask what information you should research to better prepare you for your new position. (i.e. trade publications, company literature, etc.)
John Williamson is a Career Development Specialist and spokesperson for Vision-Resume.com
Ask Them About the Company
If you have researched the company, you should know something about their core business. Use the information that you have found to ask good questions about the company. Show your understanding of the company and your interest in learning more.
Ask questions or make an insightful comment about the direction the company is headed.
Ask about the future of the company, where it plans to go over the next 3-5 years.
Ask the interviewer about their experience with the company.
Ask about the corporate culture.
Ask what the interviewer likes best about the company and why.
Ask what some of the key challenges facing the company are.
Job Questions
Well-qualified job candidates want to know the details of the job they are applying for. They understand that they can get the job they want, not just what they are offered. Asking questions about your responsibilities and expectations will help you look like the well-qualified candidate that they want to hire. The interviewer will respect your candid and inquisitive approach.
Ask how long the position has been open and why it is open.
Ask what your day would entail in the position.
Ask what you can do to get ahead in your new position.
Ask what challenges are facing your department within the company.
Ask what information you should research to better prepare you for your new position. (i.e. trade publications, company literature, etc.)
John Williamson is a Career Development Specialist and spokesperson for Vision-Resume.com
Seven Tips to a Job-Winning Interview
These days, interviews don't come easily. When you get The Call, make the most of your time -- and go for it!
1. Investigate the company's culture, markets, and finances. But resist the temptation to show off what you've researched: "I just read that you're about to embark on a new product line") unless you have a question directly related to your career.
2. Look like you belong. Learn the company's dress code and err on the side of conservatism. When you're seeking a senior position based on industry experience, you'll be expected to know the rules without being told.
3. Take charge of the interview! The most successful interviews feel like friendly conversations. When your interviewer has an agenda (such as the infamous "stress interview") stay relaxed. Think of playing a game.
4. Assume everyone you meet will provide feedback to the decision-maker. Some companies hand out comment forms to receptionists, security guards and potential peers who take you to lunch.
5. Communicate interest and enthusiasm, even if you're not sure you're ready to commit. You'll rarely have all the facts until you're looking at an offer.
6. Bring extra copies of your correspondence from this company as well as your resume, references, writing samples, portfolio and current business cards. Interviewers lose documents and conversations move in unexpected directions.
7. Create a relaxed, positive attitude by devising a realistic game plan. When your career isn't riding on a single interview, you'll have fun and make a confident, relaxed impression.
8. Write a thank you letter within forty-eight hours. Create a low-key sales letter, emphasizing how your qualifications match the company's needs. Present yourself as a resource, not a supplicant.
9. After you write the letter, forget about the interview. Email or phone only if you've received a competing offer with a deadline.
Occasionally you may make points with follow-up mailings. A sports team public relations applicant sent puzzles, games and press releases -- and she got the job. Use your intuition.
10. Keep notes of what you learned from the process. What worked? What would you do differently?
As soon as you begin your new job, develop a career plan and a safety net before you need one.
Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., wrote Making the Big Move (NewHarbinger 1999). She works with professionals who have seenthe light and are ready to ditch their current career andstart a second one.
Website: http://www.cathygoodwin.com
1. Investigate the company's culture, markets, and finances. But resist the temptation to show off what you've researched: "I just read that you're about to embark on a new product line") unless you have a question directly related to your career.
2. Look like you belong. Learn the company's dress code and err on the side of conservatism. When you're seeking a senior position based on industry experience, you'll be expected to know the rules without being told.
3. Take charge of the interview! The most successful interviews feel like friendly conversations. When your interviewer has an agenda (such as the infamous "stress interview") stay relaxed. Think of playing a game.
4. Assume everyone you meet will provide feedback to the decision-maker. Some companies hand out comment forms to receptionists, security guards and potential peers who take you to lunch.
5. Communicate interest and enthusiasm, even if you're not sure you're ready to commit. You'll rarely have all the facts until you're looking at an offer.
6. Bring extra copies of your correspondence from this company as well as your resume, references, writing samples, portfolio and current business cards. Interviewers lose documents and conversations move in unexpected directions.
7. Create a relaxed, positive attitude by devising a realistic game plan. When your career isn't riding on a single interview, you'll have fun and make a confident, relaxed impression.
8. Write a thank you letter within forty-eight hours. Create a low-key sales letter, emphasizing how your qualifications match the company's needs. Present yourself as a resource, not a supplicant.
9. After you write the letter, forget about the interview. Email or phone only if you've received a competing offer with a deadline.
Occasionally you may make points with follow-up mailings. A sports team public relations applicant sent puzzles, games and press releases -- and she got the job. Use your intuition.
10. Keep notes of what you learned from the process. What worked? What would you do differently?
As soon as you begin your new job, develop a career plan and a safety net before you need one.
Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., wrote Making the Big Move (NewHarbinger 1999). She works with professionals who have seenthe light and are ready to ditch their current career andstart a second one.
Website: http://www.cathygoodwin.com
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Her Pride
HER PRIDE
Her pride nobody can take it away
She is proud of the way she has been raised
Her pride of who she is she has
She takes her pride when she puts herself together
She wants to look her best
Her pride she has for herself
I don't know if she has any pride for me
I wonder
She has a strong character and a strong will
This I know
Aldo Kraas
Her pride nobody can take it away
She is proud of the way she has been raised
Her pride of who she is she has
She takes her pride when she puts herself together
She wants to look her best
Her pride she has for herself
I don't know if she has any pride for me
I wonder
She has a strong character and a strong will
This I know
Aldo Kraas
Monday, March 10, 2008
Dating Advice You Should Know
Are you thinking about dating, but are not comfortable doing it because you need a little bit of advice? You are probably right, and some dating advice will make things easier for you.
Here is some dating advice that you can use to help you stay safe on a date and to help you have a good time when you date. You always want to remember when you date that your safety needs to be your number one priority.
Dating advice you can use:
One: Always protect yourself in every way you can. Don't be alone for the first date with someone that you don't know very well. Go to a public place where you and your date can get to know each other better. If you are dating online never give out your personal information to anyone that can put you in danger.
Two: Always be yourself. Don't try to act like someone you are not because you will eventually be found out. This is very important advice on dating because too many people try to get away with this and then can't figure out why their date doesn't want to go out with them anymore.
Three: Don't lie about anything. If you feel like you have to lie about yourself or your life just to get someone to like you then you don't want to date that person in the first place. If you are always honest then you won't have a problem. However, people who lie are always caught at some point.
Four: Be a good talker so that your date doesn't feel uncomfortable with silence. However, you also need to be a good listener. Everyone likes to talk about their lives and about themselves.
So if you remember that then you can talk about yours but also listen and learn something about your date. This is the best way for you two to get to know each other.
This dating advice will only get you so far. You can get all of the advice on dating that you want to but until you actually start dating, it won't do you any good. Just remember that dating can be intimidating but it can also be a lot of fun.
If you are not ready you do not have to rush into dating. You also don't have to date anyone that you don't want to.
When you are ready to date you will know it. Then you just need to follow the advice that you learned so you can have the best first date ever. Dating only happens naturally when you are ready.
Here is some dating advice that you can use to help you stay safe on a date and to help you have a good time when you date. You always want to remember when you date that your safety needs to be your number one priority.
Dating advice you can use:
One: Always protect yourself in every way you can. Don't be alone for the first date with someone that you don't know very well. Go to a public place where you and your date can get to know each other better. If you are dating online never give out your personal information to anyone that can put you in danger.
Two: Always be yourself. Don't try to act like someone you are not because you will eventually be found out. This is very important advice on dating because too many people try to get away with this and then can't figure out why their date doesn't want to go out with them anymore.
Three: Don't lie about anything. If you feel like you have to lie about yourself or your life just to get someone to like you then you don't want to date that person in the first place. If you are always honest then you won't have a problem. However, people who lie are always caught at some point.
Four: Be a good talker so that your date doesn't feel uncomfortable with silence. However, you also need to be a good listener. Everyone likes to talk about their lives and about themselves.
So if you remember that then you can talk about yours but also listen and learn something about your date. This is the best way for you two to get to know each other.
This dating advice will only get you so far. You can get all of the advice on dating that you want to but until you actually start dating, it won't do you any good. Just remember that dating can be intimidating but it can also be a lot of fun.
If you are not ready you do not have to rush into dating. You also don't have to date anyone that you don't want to.
When you are ready to date you will know it. Then you just need to follow the advice that you learned so you can have the best first date ever. Dating only happens naturally when you are ready.
How To Attract Girls - In 3 Wonderful Steps
Who says what is attractive in a guy? What you might think is attractive to every one might be disgusting in the eyes of girls. Others like them tall and dark, while others like them brown skinned and big muscled. The latter gained popularity because somebody talked about it. You bought in to the idea that they are more attractive because somebody else said about it. It may be in the newspapers, movies, magazines or any other public media source. Human beings like to have what is already tested. This eliminates the risk of being the first one to be hurt. It feels good to have what is conventionally considered attractive. To attract girls you have to be proved wonderful by the society. All these is referred to as the value of social proof.
If a girl thinks that her friends do not find you attractive, she won't even risk being seen around with you. If on the other hand the group finds you breath taking, you will attract girls to non imaginable levels. You will be spoilt for choice. To attract girls the way you want, you have to be able to address a big group of people. Shyness should be put at bay. Challenges are part of the exercise but overcome any embarrassment thrown your way. Deal with any question wisely and appear confident. Remember two groups are watching you and you have to appear attractive. Prove your worth.
To attract girls you have to tame your words. Do not talk negatively about your ex-girlfriend. It shows that you fall in love with the wrong type of girls. It puts you down. If you talk of how great she has been she will want to keep the standards. It will make you appear so attractive and classic. Whatever you do, do not lower your standard let her believe you are the best. Put humor in your words and tease her a lot. You might be dying to tell her all the sweet nothings but wait for the right time. Attract girls by keeping them guessing.
To attract girls best you have to be rare and wanted. What makes gold and diamond so expensive and valuable? It is not the fact that they are so beautiful. Their value comes in because they are so much sought after since their is nothing else like them. Their scarcity makes them sell. Do not be the most available guy who appears at her door step at the first beep. Style up, cook up some excuses though it might be against your will. She will certainly out grow your presence and your so obvious behavior. To attract girls, you need to be unpredictable, funny and rare. The common nice, composed gentleman will have no game in attracting girls. The other man will take the day home with much power to attract girls. They are both men but one is rare to find because of his unpredictable behavior. He is somewhere working out his plan to attract girls while the other one is suffocating the girls with his presence. Coal and diamond are both made of carbon but one has so much value it is unbelievable.
If a girl thinks that her friends do not find you attractive, she won't even risk being seen around with you. If on the other hand the group finds you breath taking, you will attract girls to non imaginable levels. You will be spoilt for choice. To attract girls the way you want, you have to be able to address a big group of people. Shyness should be put at bay. Challenges are part of the exercise but overcome any embarrassment thrown your way. Deal with any question wisely and appear confident. Remember two groups are watching you and you have to appear attractive. Prove your worth.
To attract girls you have to tame your words. Do not talk negatively about your ex-girlfriend. It shows that you fall in love with the wrong type of girls. It puts you down. If you talk of how great she has been she will want to keep the standards. It will make you appear so attractive and classic. Whatever you do, do not lower your standard let her believe you are the best. Put humor in your words and tease her a lot. You might be dying to tell her all the sweet nothings but wait for the right time. Attract girls by keeping them guessing.
To attract girls best you have to be rare and wanted. What makes gold and diamond so expensive and valuable? It is not the fact that they are so beautiful. Their value comes in because they are so much sought after since their is nothing else like them. Their scarcity makes them sell. Do not be the most available guy who appears at her door step at the first beep. Style up, cook up some excuses though it might be against your will. She will certainly out grow your presence and your so obvious behavior. To attract girls, you need to be unpredictable, funny and rare. The common nice, composed gentleman will have no game in attracting girls. The other man will take the day home with much power to attract girls. They are both men but one is rare to find because of his unpredictable behavior. He is somewhere working out his plan to attract girls while the other one is suffocating the girls with his presence. Coal and diamond are both made of carbon but one has so much value it is unbelievable.
How To Find Mr. Right Online (And Offline)
So, you’re online looking for Mr. Right.
You must approach it with your mind and not your heart, you can find Mr. Right online.
Treat the search as a fact finding mission. Ask questions....questions...and more questions.
Before looking for Mr. Right, try to rid yourself of desperation. Don’t go looking for Mr. Right, when you are depressed and lonely. It’s like they say; don’t go grocery shopping when you are hungry! You end up buying a lot of items you didn’t really want and spending money that you can’t afford! It’s the same way when you’re looking for Mr. Right. You end up accepting qualities, you really don’t like and some traits you actually hate.
While trying to find Mr. Right, totally avoid the following:
1. The one’s with multiple children by multiple women.
Why? The emotional and financial baggage will be unbearable.
2. Men that refuse to pay child support.
Why? If he refuses to accept responsibility for children he has fathered prior to your
relationship, he will no doubt do the same to children he fathers with you.
3. Men with substance abuse problems, but they fail to acknowledge it.
Why? If, it’s not his problem? Then it’s going to be your problem. Unless you are a substance abuse counselor and enjoy the challenge, run!
Do not try to find Mr. Right at an Alcohol/Drug/Anger Management program.
4. If you ever...ever discover he has a history of domestic violence? Drop him.
Why? Domestic violence is serious. There is a fine line between being hurt...and
accidentally being killed. (Been there...done that! Bought the tee shirt and the hat!)
5. If you think you have found Mr. Right online, but he has a little trouble getting and keeping gainful employment? Re-think it...
6. If his entire family has disowned him, there is probably a good reason, so don’t hang
around long enough to find out why. Mr. Right should be a family man.
You are special, so don’t sell yourself short. Just enjoy life, and wait. You will find your Mr. Right online...or off!
You must approach it with your mind and not your heart, you can find Mr. Right online.
Treat the search as a fact finding mission. Ask questions....questions...and more questions.
Before looking for Mr. Right, try to rid yourself of desperation. Don’t go looking for Mr. Right, when you are depressed and lonely. It’s like they say; don’t go grocery shopping when you are hungry! You end up buying a lot of items you didn’t really want and spending money that you can’t afford! It’s the same way when you’re looking for Mr. Right. You end up accepting qualities, you really don’t like and some traits you actually hate.
While trying to find Mr. Right, totally avoid the following:
1. The one’s with multiple children by multiple women.
Why? The emotional and financial baggage will be unbearable.
2. Men that refuse to pay child support.
Why? If he refuses to accept responsibility for children he has fathered prior to your
relationship, he will no doubt do the same to children he fathers with you.
3. Men with substance abuse problems, but they fail to acknowledge it.
Why? If, it’s not his problem? Then it’s going to be your problem. Unless you are a substance abuse counselor and enjoy the challenge, run!
Do not try to find Mr. Right at an Alcohol/Drug/Anger Management program.
4. If you ever...ever discover he has a history of domestic violence? Drop him.
Why? Domestic violence is serious. There is a fine line between being hurt...and
accidentally being killed. (Been there...done that! Bought the tee shirt and the hat!)
5. If you think you have found Mr. Right online, but he has a little trouble getting and keeping gainful employment? Re-think it...
6. If his entire family has disowned him, there is probably a good reason, so don’t hang
around long enough to find out why. Mr. Right should be a family man.
You are special, so don’t sell yourself short. Just enjoy life, and wait. You will find your Mr. Right online...or off!
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Seven Steps to a Better Day
Are you tired of the same routine day after day? Do you feel as if today is only a speed bump in the road between yesterday and tomorrow? Well, you're not alone! Many people live day-to-day with little hope for anything getting better. Some are trapped in corporate jobs where they are little more than rats in a maze. Others have routines at home that leave them uninspired and unchallenged.
There is hope for a better day. Try these seven suggestions:
1. Exercise Nothing gets your brain in gear like exercise. If you will start the day with a moderate workout, you likely will be more productive throughout the day.
2. Solve a problem You might choose a crossword puzzle or a brain teaser of some sort, but exercising your brain actually will help you solve other problems you face.
3. Read Set aside a portion of your day to read something inspirational or entertaining. Some people read comic strips while other people have daily devotional activities. Whatever you do, read something!
4. Laugh Life is too short to take it all so seriously. Enjoy life by finding humor in your daily activities.
5. Make a difference in someone else's life Make it your point to make other people smile. From the server at the restaurant to the bank teller, people always are trying to make your life easier. Tell them you appreciate their effort and go out of your way to show them you care.
6. Admit your incompetence You don't know how to do everything, so don't be afraid to say, "I don't know." When you admit the limits of your knowledge or expertise you have the opportunity to validate someone else in his or her knowledge or expertise.
7. Learn something new Before the day ends, make it a point to stretch the limits of your knowledge by discovering something you don't already know. Maybe you just need to look at a map and see where that city or country is located. Maybe you need to look up a word you find in a newspaper or magazine article. Whatever it is, there is something to learn today.
Of course, the first step to having a better day is your choosing to have a better day. Otherwise, you are destined to have todays and tomorrows that look a lot like your yesterdays!
Dr. Terry Hadaway is a leading authority in adult education and the author of several books and articles. Visit http://www.thinkezine.com for more information.
There is hope for a better day. Try these seven suggestions:
1. Exercise Nothing gets your brain in gear like exercise. If you will start the day with a moderate workout, you likely will be more productive throughout the day.
2. Solve a problem You might choose a crossword puzzle or a brain teaser of some sort, but exercising your brain actually will help you solve other problems you face.
3. Read Set aside a portion of your day to read something inspirational or entertaining. Some people read comic strips while other people have daily devotional activities. Whatever you do, read something!
4. Laugh Life is too short to take it all so seriously. Enjoy life by finding humor in your daily activities.
5. Make a difference in someone else's life Make it your point to make other people smile. From the server at the restaurant to the bank teller, people always are trying to make your life easier. Tell them you appreciate their effort and go out of your way to show them you care.
6. Admit your incompetence You don't know how to do everything, so don't be afraid to say, "I don't know." When you admit the limits of your knowledge or expertise you have the opportunity to validate someone else in his or her knowledge or expertise.
7. Learn something new Before the day ends, make it a point to stretch the limits of your knowledge by discovering something you don't already know. Maybe you just need to look at a map and see where that city or country is located. Maybe you need to look up a word you find in a newspaper or magazine article. Whatever it is, there is something to learn today.
Of course, the first step to having a better day is your choosing to have a better day. Otherwise, you are destined to have todays and tomorrows that look a lot like your yesterdays!
Dr. Terry Hadaway is a leading authority in adult education and the author of several books and articles. Visit http://www.thinkezine.com for more information.
Are You Doing What You Love?
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. --Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)
We are busier than we have ever been, working long hours and feeling under more and more pressure. How do you spend your days? For many people work and pleasure are seen as separate, with work being a chore that has to be done to pay the bills. It doesn't always have to be like that. Although we don't have to love everything we do, we do need to gain some enjoyment from most of what we do. Take a moment to see if it is time to start afresh and do something you love, something that adds the pleasure factor back into your working life?
Think about what matters to you and why you do the things you do. For each person that means something different. What aspects of a job are important to you? List them. Think about your dream job. Does it motivate and inspire you? If not, think again. It has to mean something to you; otherwise you will not be prepared to put in the effort to achieve what you want. Ask: 'What am I prepared to give up to make this happen?' 'What would I love to try?' 'What options do I have?' 'What are my talents, skills and qualities?' 'How can I utilise them in my ideal job?' How can you take an idea and turn it into reality? Get creative and think through how you could make money doing what you enjoy.
Starting anew requires courage, confidence and commitment. Hold on to your sense of purpose. Believe in yourself. Ignore the critics, for there are bound to be some, and face your fears (there will many of those too!). Ask for help from those people who can assist you and get supporters to keep you motivated. Research things that interest you and, if necessary, go back to basics and learn new skills. Develop a clear vision of where you'd like to be in 10 years' time ? and why. Write it down. Be specific. This will provide you with something to focus on. Think creatively. This may not happen all of a sudden, but if you work at it gradually, day by day, it can happen.
And if starting something new is not for you, how can you love the job you already have? You can't always control your situation, but you can always choose how you react to it. Your attitude colours how you face every day and has an influence on the people around you. Choose to be positive. Are there areas of your job that you can improve on? Who can you discuss this with? Is a change to a new role in the same company an option? Examine the possibilities. Your job does not define you, but how you do it does.
And why bother? Doing what you love gives you a good reason to get up every morning. Your life will be challenging, certainly, exciting, definitely. Doing things you enjoy which give you personal fulfilment and satisfaction has been shown to contribute to good health and longevity. Don't wait for perfect circumstances to start. Begin now!
Kate Harper is based in the beautiful Highlands of Scotland. Check out her website http://www.harpercoaching.com
We are busier than we have ever been, working long hours and feeling under more and more pressure. How do you spend your days? For many people work and pleasure are seen as separate, with work being a chore that has to be done to pay the bills. It doesn't always have to be like that. Although we don't have to love everything we do, we do need to gain some enjoyment from most of what we do. Take a moment to see if it is time to start afresh and do something you love, something that adds the pleasure factor back into your working life?
Think about what matters to you and why you do the things you do. For each person that means something different. What aspects of a job are important to you? List them. Think about your dream job. Does it motivate and inspire you? If not, think again. It has to mean something to you; otherwise you will not be prepared to put in the effort to achieve what you want. Ask: 'What am I prepared to give up to make this happen?' 'What would I love to try?' 'What options do I have?' 'What are my talents, skills and qualities?' 'How can I utilise them in my ideal job?' How can you take an idea and turn it into reality? Get creative and think through how you could make money doing what you enjoy.
Starting anew requires courage, confidence and commitment. Hold on to your sense of purpose. Believe in yourself. Ignore the critics, for there are bound to be some, and face your fears (there will many of those too!). Ask for help from those people who can assist you and get supporters to keep you motivated. Research things that interest you and, if necessary, go back to basics and learn new skills. Develop a clear vision of where you'd like to be in 10 years' time ? and why. Write it down. Be specific. This will provide you with something to focus on. Think creatively. This may not happen all of a sudden, but if you work at it gradually, day by day, it can happen.
And if starting something new is not for you, how can you love the job you already have? You can't always control your situation, but you can always choose how you react to it. Your attitude colours how you face every day and has an influence on the people around you. Choose to be positive. Are there areas of your job that you can improve on? Who can you discuss this with? Is a change to a new role in the same company an option? Examine the possibilities. Your job does not define you, but how you do it does.
And why bother? Doing what you love gives you a good reason to get up every morning. Your life will be challenging, certainly, exciting, definitely. Doing things you enjoy which give you personal fulfilment and satisfaction has been shown to contribute to good health and longevity. Don't wait for perfect circumstances to start. Begin now!
Kate Harper is based in the beautiful Highlands of Scotland. Check out her website http://www.harpercoaching.com
How to Stop Attracting Negative People to Your Life
Placing your attention, energy and focus on the negative aspects of some people in your life brings you more of the same. Simply put, that's the Law of Attraction at work.
When you shift your attention to the kinds of people you DO want in your life, that shift, coupled with your clear desire to STOP attracting negative people into your life, will set the energy in motion for new results to show up. When you shift from what you don't want, to what you do want, your vibration changes. And know this-you can only hold one vibration at a time! The Law of Attraction is always matching your vibration in any given moment.
The Law of Attraction can be used to ensure that you are always in vibrational harmony with the people you are attracting into your life. If you plot your vibration on a scale that measures from 1-100, with 100 being the highest calibration, you are currently attracting other people into your life that match your score on this scale. In other words, if your vibration measures 75 on this scale and a person in your life measures closely to that, you are a close vibrational match. It is also important to realize that if your vibration measures 30 on this scale, you are a close match to another person whose vibration is at 30.
Your feelings always tell you if you are in vibrational harmony with another person. When you meet someone who is offering a significantly lower vibration than yours, you often feel dragged down by that person, i.e. the experience just doesn't feel good. On the other hand, when you are with someone who vibrates closely to your score, it feels good to be with them. You are in vibrational harmony with that person. Suppose you are the one with the much lower vibration. If you experience a person with a significantly higher vibration, you may feel uplifted and raise your vibe to match theirs, or you may feel uncomfortable being around them. In short, the distance between your score and the score of another person, equals the extent to which it doesn't feel good. We call that resistance. The greater difference in the scores, the greater resistance there is.
Here's a great tool to help you next time you experience a negative person in your life. While you are having a conversation with that person; perhaps listening to them describe (in great detail) what they don't want and how negative their life is, ask them the following question: "So, what do you want? How would you like it to be different?" In their response, they will stop talking about what they don't want, and start talking about what they do want. In that very moment, their vibration will shift and they'll start raising their vibration to match yours.
Remember too, people treat you the way you allow them. In Law of Attraction, this means that you can set your vibrational boundaries so that you will only participate in and maintain positive conversations. Feeding into somebody's negative conversation will bring your vibration down. Decide today to maintain your high vibration and stop feeding into other people's negative vibes. This will go a long way to maintaining your high, positive vibration, which will in turn, attract other people with high, positive vibrations into your life.
Michael Losier, a Law of Attraction Trainer and author, supports people in understanding and practicing the Art of Deliberate Attraction.
When you shift your attention to the kinds of people you DO want in your life, that shift, coupled with your clear desire to STOP attracting negative people into your life, will set the energy in motion for new results to show up. When you shift from what you don't want, to what you do want, your vibration changes. And know this-you can only hold one vibration at a time! The Law of Attraction is always matching your vibration in any given moment.
The Law of Attraction can be used to ensure that you are always in vibrational harmony with the people you are attracting into your life. If you plot your vibration on a scale that measures from 1-100, with 100 being the highest calibration, you are currently attracting other people into your life that match your score on this scale. In other words, if your vibration measures 75 on this scale and a person in your life measures closely to that, you are a close vibrational match. It is also important to realize that if your vibration measures 30 on this scale, you are a close match to another person whose vibration is at 30.
Your feelings always tell you if you are in vibrational harmony with another person. When you meet someone who is offering a significantly lower vibration than yours, you often feel dragged down by that person, i.e. the experience just doesn't feel good. On the other hand, when you are with someone who vibrates closely to your score, it feels good to be with them. You are in vibrational harmony with that person. Suppose you are the one with the much lower vibration. If you experience a person with a significantly higher vibration, you may feel uplifted and raise your vibe to match theirs, or you may feel uncomfortable being around them. In short, the distance between your score and the score of another person, equals the extent to which it doesn't feel good. We call that resistance. The greater difference in the scores, the greater resistance there is.
Here's a great tool to help you next time you experience a negative person in your life. While you are having a conversation with that person; perhaps listening to them describe (in great detail) what they don't want and how negative their life is, ask them the following question: "So, what do you want? How would you like it to be different?" In their response, they will stop talking about what they don't want, and start talking about what they do want. In that very moment, their vibration will shift and they'll start raising their vibration to match yours.
Remember too, people treat you the way you allow them. In Law of Attraction, this means that you can set your vibrational boundaries so that you will only participate in and maintain positive conversations. Feeding into somebody's negative conversation will bring your vibration down. Decide today to maintain your high vibration and stop feeding into other people's negative vibes. This will go a long way to maintaining your high, positive vibration, which will in turn, attract other people with high, positive vibrations into your life.
Michael Losier, a Law of Attraction Trainer and author, supports people in understanding and practicing the Art of Deliberate Attraction.
You...Your Emotions...Your Relations...Your Happiness and Your Life...
We are living in an era, where relations' management is at its low. If the IT or ITES/BPO industry is promoting relations among the employees?the short duration of relations is also a gift of it. There are numerous cases of divorces, I have witnessed in last couple of years, wherein couples decided to separate within one year of marriage. Why so???
It is very easy to say, "I love you" to people around you but how many of us really understand the meaning, probably, no one. Recently, we had a hot debate on the effect looks/attractiveness in selection/rejection of candidate in interview, but, in fact looks (or I can say glamour) is also important in our personal relations. Asking a male to date an unattractive female is as much similar to asking a female to date a non-wealthy male.
Let me share with you that "I love you" is difficult to say (at least if you are not a flirt) and more difficult to understand. Every "I love you" is a promise, a commitment to stand by the person you love- whatever the odds, whatever the outcome, whatever the cost. Every "I love you" is a pact. A sworn oath to stick by each other, to be there for each other, no matter what personal sacrifice is necessary, and no matter what Consequences may befall. Every "I love you" has nothing to do with touches, or kisses, or sweet nothings whispered in an attentive ear." I love you" is more than all these things. It means loyalty and honor and trust without the expectation of the same in return.
There is a very famous quote in English,
If you love someone, Set them free...
If they comes back, they are yours,
If they doesn't, they were never there to begin with?
Most of my life I have been an outsider and yet I have learned from my experiences and others what true love is. The most purest love is unconditional love. You may be asking me what do I mean by unconditional love? When I say unconditional love, I mean no strings are attached. Perhaps, we should go more in-depth and explain what no strings attached means.
We will first go into explaining what unconditional love means. Unconditional means you will love a person no matter what happens between the two of you. A friendship is a good place to start. When I have asked many people what a friend is, I get many different answers.
A friend is someone you talk to once in a while.
A friend is someone I talk to on the phone all the time.
A friend is someone I do things with that has the same interests.
A true friend does not even match these definitions that people have said. Now, I will explain the way I understand what a true friend is. A true friend is one who will treat another person like a human being all the time.
When you find a person like this in your life (male or female), that kind of friendship is so sacred and a very beautiful thing to have. That person will always be there for you no matter what the situation is, it is the purest love that two people can ever share.
There is another kind of pure love, but it is not as pure as two friend's love can be. It is also a beautiful thing and there are things that this love has that a friendship will never have. When two people after being friends for a long time, develop a new feeling where they want to get closer emotionally, they take the next step and become a part of each other.
This is the third purest kind of love. There are no strings attached. It is totally unconditional because both people feel the same way. They are not trying to impress each other that they love one another because they both know how they are feeling. This is one of the purest loves that can happen.
Of course, they may feel a physical attraction towards another or not. That is not really relevant. The love is pure because there are no preconceived notions before hand. In other words, you are not out to make this girl or guy, your boyfriend/girlfriend.
Now the problem occurs when you are so close with the opposite gender as a friend that you decide that now would be a good time to get into a relationship and then realize things are not going so well. You try as hard as you can to make the relationship work, but you both fail miserably. Not only does your relationship fall apart, you are no longer friends. You realize too late that you should both never have gotten into a relationship. I have learned in my personal experiences, there is a strong intimacy that the opposite genders both feel when they get real close to each other.
In friendship, it can be quite powerful and very emotional. The problem occurs when this feeling of love that you have in your friendship becomes confused with being in love with that person. The best way to find out if both people feel the same way is to communicate and learn about each other as much as possible. You should know the person inside and out because if you do not and jump into a relationship, the chances are your relationship will not last very long and your friendship will be over.
The normal way most people go about getting into a relationship is being attracted to that person and perhaps emotionally attached. They proceed in making this person their boyfriend or girlfriend and yet they know very little about this person. The relationship continues and there is constant fighting. There is no communication. The man thinks he is right and the woman thinks she is right.
Meanwhile the relationship is getting worse. Ultimately, the two break up and both people feel they were used as either sexual objects or being used to give the man or woman status without caring that each of them are people. The ideal way of developing a good relationship is to learn more about the other person by communicating and getting to know what this person's ideals and values are. The worst thing you can do is have preconceived notions about a person you do not even know. You are searching for a needle in a haystack and the chance of your relationship not working is 99.
The most ideal relationship is marriage. A marriage is the second purest type of love two people can have for each other. The most ideal marriage is if you are friends already. You have both parts of the equation: the unconditional friendship and the love that no friendship can ever compare with. The problem occurs when two people start attaching strings to their significant other.
The marriage struggles because it is not unconditional any more. Each person feels they have to do things to show they love each other. When you love someone, you do it because you love them, not because you have to show you love them.
Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor, coworker, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger), but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.
And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.
If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart.
If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.
Sometimes we may think that the person we love is the only one that is worth it for us. But I must say that having a broken heart is just a part of life, one that must be endured and overcome. However, it is pointless to stay that way. "Love" does not mean holding on to feelings and being "devoted" to someone you couldn't have anyway; it is wanting what's best for the other person, even if it means that you don't get what you want. That's not to say that the pain shouldn't exist, or that it will fade away just like that, but truelove desires the happiness of the one you love.
Life is very funny and interesting as well, as I mentioned to you?the other day, "aiesa nahi hai ki duniya mein pyar nahi milta per jahan umid ho iski wahan nahi milta"
If we can realize these things beforehand, we can save that piece of our heart for someone else--someone who will share a life with us in a union so beautifully that we would cry tears of joy at the thought of it, as opposed to the tears of pain.
Letting go. It is difficult for us in so many ways and on so many levels. Yet life calls upon us to do it, over and over again. Letting go is part of our growth process. We cannot move on to the new while continuing to cling to the old.
Most importantly, if you LOVE someone tell him or her, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.
ท Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again.
ท Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen.
ท Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high.
ท Hold your head up because you have every right to.
ท Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.
ท You can make of your life anything you wish.
ท Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.
That all, I can say?live your life?as it comes, live for your present?your future?not for your past. Enjoy your life?because this is a path?you will never walk again.
Looking forward to your comments. Enjoy this festival time with your near and dear ones and pleaseee?do take care of yourself.
It is very easy to say, "I love you" to people around you but how many of us really understand the meaning, probably, no one. Recently, we had a hot debate on the effect looks/attractiveness in selection/rejection of candidate in interview, but, in fact looks (or I can say glamour) is also important in our personal relations. Asking a male to date an unattractive female is as much similar to asking a female to date a non-wealthy male.
Let me share with you that "I love you" is difficult to say (at least if you are not a flirt) and more difficult to understand. Every "I love you" is a promise, a commitment to stand by the person you love- whatever the odds, whatever the outcome, whatever the cost. Every "I love you" is a pact. A sworn oath to stick by each other, to be there for each other, no matter what personal sacrifice is necessary, and no matter what Consequences may befall. Every "I love you" has nothing to do with touches, or kisses, or sweet nothings whispered in an attentive ear." I love you" is more than all these things. It means loyalty and honor and trust without the expectation of the same in return.
There is a very famous quote in English,
If you love someone, Set them free...
If they comes back, they are yours,
If they doesn't, they were never there to begin with?
Most of my life I have been an outsider and yet I have learned from my experiences and others what true love is. The most purest love is unconditional love. You may be asking me what do I mean by unconditional love? When I say unconditional love, I mean no strings are attached. Perhaps, we should go more in-depth and explain what no strings attached means.
We will first go into explaining what unconditional love means. Unconditional means you will love a person no matter what happens between the two of you. A friendship is a good place to start. When I have asked many people what a friend is, I get many different answers.
A friend is someone you talk to once in a while.
A friend is someone I talk to on the phone all the time.
A friend is someone I do things with that has the same interests.
A true friend does not even match these definitions that people have said. Now, I will explain the way I understand what a true friend is. A true friend is one who will treat another person like a human being all the time.
When you find a person like this in your life (male or female), that kind of friendship is so sacred and a very beautiful thing to have. That person will always be there for you no matter what the situation is, it is the purest love that two people can ever share.
There is another kind of pure love, but it is not as pure as two friend's love can be. It is also a beautiful thing and there are things that this love has that a friendship will never have. When two people after being friends for a long time, develop a new feeling where they want to get closer emotionally, they take the next step and become a part of each other.
This is the third purest kind of love. There are no strings attached. It is totally unconditional because both people feel the same way. They are not trying to impress each other that they love one another because they both know how they are feeling. This is one of the purest loves that can happen.
Of course, they may feel a physical attraction towards another or not. That is not really relevant. The love is pure because there are no preconceived notions before hand. In other words, you are not out to make this girl or guy, your boyfriend/girlfriend.
Now the problem occurs when you are so close with the opposite gender as a friend that you decide that now would be a good time to get into a relationship and then realize things are not going so well. You try as hard as you can to make the relationship work, but you both fail miserably. Not only does your relationship fall apart, you are no longer friends. You realize too late that you should both never have gotten into a relationship. I have learned in my personal experiences, there is a strong intimacy that the opposite genders both feel when they get real close to each other.
In friendship, it can be quite powerful and very emotional. The problem occurs when this feeling of love that you have in your friendship becomes confused with being in love with that person. The best way to find out if both people feel the same way is to communicate and learn about each other as much as possible. You should know the person inside and out because if you do not and jump into a relationship, the chances are your relationship will not last very long and your friendship will be over.
The normal way most people go about getting into a relationship is being attracted to that person and perhaps emotionally attached. They proceed in making this person their boyfriend or girlfriend and yet they know very little about this person. The relationship continues and there is constant fighting. There is no communication. The man thinks he is right and the woman thinks she is right.
Meanwhile the relationship is getting worse. Ultimately, the two break up and both people feel they were used as either sexual objects or being used to give the man or woman status without caring that each of them are people. The ideal way of developing a good relationship is to learn more about the other person by communicating and getting to know what this person's ideals and values are. The worst thing you can do is have preconceived notions about a person you do not even know. You are searching for a needle in a haystack and the chance of your relationship not working is 99.
The most ideal relationship is marriage. A marriage is the second purest type of love two people can have for each other. The most ideal marriage is if you are friends already. You have both parts of the equation: the unconditional friendship and the love that no friendship can ever compare with. The problem occurs when two people start attaching strings to their significant other.
The marriage struggles because it is not unconditional any more. Each person feels they have to do things to show they love each other. When you love someone, you do it because you love them, not because you have to show you love them.
Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor, coworker, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger), but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.
And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.
If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart.
If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.
Sometimes we may think that the person we love is the only one that is worth it for us. But I must say that having a broken heart is just a part of life, one that must be endured and overcome. However, it is pointless to stay that way. "Love" does not mean holding on to feelings and being "devoted" to someone you couldn't have anyway; it is wanting what's best for the other person, even if it means that you don't get what you want. That's not to say that the pain shouldn't exist, or that it will fade away just like that, but truelove desires the happiness of the one you love.
Life is very funny and interesting as well, as I mentioned to you?the other day, "aiesa nahi hai ki duniya mein pyar nahi milta per jahan umid ho iski wahan nahi milta"
If we can realize these things beforehand, we can save that piece of our heart for someone else--someone who will share a life with us in a union so beautifully that we would cry tears of joy at the thought of it, as opposed to the tears of pain.
Letting go. It is difficult for us in so many ways and on so many levels. Yet life calls upon us to do it, over and over again. Letting go is part of our growth process. We cannot move on to the new while continuing to cling to the old.
Most importantly, if you LOVE someone tell him or her, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.
ท Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again.
ท Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen.
ท Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high.
ท Hold your head up because you have every right to.
ท Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.
ท You can make of your life anything you wish.
ท Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.
That all, I can say?live your life?as it comes, live for your present?your future?not for your past. Enjoy your life?because this is a path?you will never walk again.
Looking forward to your comments. Enjoy this festival time with your near and dear ones and pleaseee?do take care of yourself.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Learn Korean: Part 2
Part 1 of this series covered the language and language families in general for the Asian languages. Part 2 will cover the social conduct that is seen throughout Asian countries.
To begin, the social structure in Asia, and especially East Asian countries, stems from Taoism and Confucianism philosophies.
Confucianism
Confucianism has played a big role in setting the social structure in Asia and has more influence than any other belief or philosophy has. Now before I begin, keep in mind I am not saying all Asians follow the Confucian religion, but deep down in Asian culture there are Confucian beliefs. An Asian person may not even recognize what they do as Confucian beliefs, yet it still shapes their beliefs and morals.
One of the major structures in Asian culture influenced by Confucianism is the family structure. One of the Confucian beliefs is respect for parents. This explains why Asian children are almost always so respectful of their parents and do everything they are told. Kids will be kids, and disobedience always enters the picture. If you look at the larger picture however, you will find that Asian culture puts great respect on elders and people are trained that way from birth. Anyone older than you is going to be respected. This is so important in Asia that it is structured into the language itself. In Korea, there will be different endings for verbs, and sometimes different verbs altogether that need to be used depending on who you speak with. If you speak to someone older than you, you will need to use a polite and honorific style of speech. It differs from English in the fact that the actual language and words change. In English, it is simply acceptable to speak politely and add a sir on the end for example. The language doesn't change however. Both languages have their own ways to show respect. Korean just has it actually included in the words and basic structures of the language.
Some other Confucian beliefs that have structured Asian culture are humility, honesty and trustworthiness, and loyalty.
Taoism
While I mention beliefs, I feel I should introduce Taoism and how it has influenced Asian culture as well. To start off, what is Taoism? Basically, Taoism beliefs strongly link man to nature. Men will search and find harmony and peace, usually in nature. Taoism says everything is connected and their is energy that flows between everything. A common power runs through everything. Many Asians will follow some beliefs of Taoism. Once again, it may not be about the religion, but just the whole philosophy of it. Searching for peace and harmony can be a great thing for anybody to do. I believe everybody could use a little more peace and harmony in their lives. Nature really does have some power over people when it comes to peace. Try sitting in an open, beautiful field with a slow breeze. If it doesn't calm you down and relax you, then something is odd. Unfortunately it is hard for most people in the United States (or many other countries for that matter) to do this. Industrialization has taken over and lives are too busy. You can definitely try to make do with what you have though. Fortunately for Asia, there are still many beautiful landscapes virtually untouched by industrialization. Nature is everywhere in Asia. You will find some of the most beautiful palaces situated on lily ponds (such as Gyeongbokgung Palace in near Seoul).
Wherever it may be, everyone can find an escape in nature. Asians have realized this and have grown to love nature. They also have set up a social structure of great respect for others.
To begin, the social structure in Asia, and especially East Asian countries, stems from Taoism and Confucianism philosophies.
Confucianism
Confucianism has played a big role in setting the social structure in Asia and has more influence than any other belief or philosophy has. Now before I begin, keep in mind I am not saying all Asians follow the Confucian religion, but deep down in Asian culture there are Confucian beliefs. An Asian person may not even recognize what they do as Confucian beliefs, yet it still shapes their beliefs and morals.
One of the major structures in Asian culture influenced by Confucianism is the family structure. One of the Confucian beliefs is respect for parents. This explains why Asian children are almost always so respectful of their parents and do everything they are told. Kids will be kids, and disobedience always enters the picture. If you look at the larger picture however, you will find that Asian culture puts great respect on elders and people are trained that way from birth. Anyone older than you is going to be respected. This is so important in Asia that it is structured into the language itself. In Korea, there will be different endings for verbs, and sometimes different verbs altogether that need to be used depending on who you speak with. If you speak to someone older than you, you will need to use a polite and honorific style of speech. It differs from English in the fact that the actual language and words change. In English, it is simply acceptable to speak politely and add a sir on the end for example. The language doesn't change however. Both languages have their own ways to show respect. Korean just has it actually included in the words and basic structures of the language.
Some other Confucian beliefs that have structured Asian culture are humility, honesty and trustworthiness, and loyalty.
Taoism
While I mention beliefs, I feel I should introduce Taoism and how it has influenced Asian culture as well. To start off, what is Taoism? Basically, Taoism beliefs strongly link man to nature. Men will search and find harmony and peace, usually in nature. Taoism says everything is connected and their is energy that flows between everything. A common power runs through everything. Many Asians will follow some beliefs of Taoism. Once again, it may not be about the religion, but just the whole philosophy of it. Searching for peace and harmony can be a great thing for anybody to do. I believe everybody could use a little more peace and harmony in their lives. Nature really does have some power over people when it comes to peace. Try sitting in an open, beautiful field with a slow breeze. If it doesn't calm you down and relax you, then something is odd. Unfortunately it is hard for most people in the United States (or many other countries for that matter) to do this. Industrialization has taken over and lives are too busy. You can definitely try to make do with what you have though. Fortunately for Asia, there are still many beautiful landscapes virtually untouched by industrialization. Nature is everywhere in Asia. You will find some of the most beautiful palaces situated on lily ponds (such as Gyeongbokgung Palace in near Seoul).
Wherever it may be, everyone can find an escape in nature. Asians have realized this and have grown to love nature. They also have set up a social structure of great respect for others.
So, you have always been fascinated by Asian culture have you? Maybe you are someone who loves the martial arts; kung fu, tae-kwon-do, or karate. Perhaps you are interested in the cool oriental stores and like to buy many things from them to decorate your house. Maybe you like the peaceful society you see depicted in some Asian films. Or maybe you are just incredibly in love with the Asian languages such as Chinese, Japanese, and Korean.
Whatever your interest is in Asia and its society, it could never hurt to know a little bit about the culture. In fact, learning about something more than is shown in action movies and your Korean dramas can be quite beneficial.
My experience is with Korean culture and Korean language, but the culture is similar in most Asian countries.
Language Families
One of the main things you may have noticed is how incredibly different the Asian languages are from English. You come across languages such as Italian, Spanish, and French, and you can at least find some similarities in those languages and English. Yet there seem to be none between English and Asian languages! The fact is they just come from different language families. Most European languages will fall in the same language family as English. Many of these are in the Indo-European language families. Words will be similar between all of the languages that come from the same family.
Asian languages such as Japanese and Korean are in the same language family, the Altaic family. You will find many similarites in these two languages. Mandarin Chinese comes from the Sino-Tibetan family.
Altaic Family
The Altaic family is named after the Alti Mountains. They are located in Central Asia. The Altaic Family consists of Turkish, Mongolian, Korean, and Japanese. Out of these, Turkish is the most western of the languages, while Korean and Japanese are more eastern.
Sino-Tibetan Family
The Sino-Tibetan Family consists of Mandarin Chinese. Languages in this language family are made up of one syllable words, but there are MANY. There is no simple alphabet to form these words, which causes the vast number of Chinese characters, making it one of the hardest languages to learn. You also must learn to speak, read, and write all separately. There is no reading a word and being able to speak it, nor can you hear one and guess on how it is spelled. Writing is still completely on it's own even if you can read, because you have to use proper stroke orders! Very time consuming to learn.
There are also several tones in these languages. A change in pitch while saying a word could change the meaning of the word completely. It makes the language sound very pretty when spoken, but is incredibly difficult to learn!
Sentence Structure
As with many Asian languages, a common fact you will notice is many of the languages follow an SOV sentence structure. That is, Subject, Object, Verb. English tends to place the verb after the subject of the sentence. Asian languages place the verb at the very end of the sentence. The most important part of the sentence is saved for last :) Don't we all save the best for last?
Although much of the culture evolves around the language, there is plenty more to culture. Korean culture is amazing in every way. Look forward to future articles covering Korean culture!
Whatever your interest is in Asia and its society, it could never hurt to know a little bit about the culture. In fact, learning about something more than is shown in action movies and your Korean dramas can be quite beneficial.
My experience is with Korean culture and Korean language, but the culture is similar in most Asian countries.
Language Families
One of the main things you may have noticed is how incredibly different the Asian languages are from English. You come across languages such as Italian, Spanish, and French, and you can at least find some similarities in those languages and English. Yet there seem to be none between English and Asian languages! The fact is they just come from different language families. Most European languages will fall in the same language family as English. Many of these are in the Indo-European language families. Words will be similar between all of the languages that come from the same family.
Asian languages such as Japanese and Korean are in the same language family, the Altaic family. You will find many similarites in these two languages. Mandarin Chinese comes from the Sino-Tibetan family.
Altaic Family
The Altaic family is named after the Alti Mountains. They are located in Central Asia. The Altaic Family consists of Turkish, Mongolian, Korean, and Japanese. Out of these, Turkish is the most western of the languages, while Korean and Japanese are more eastern.
Sino-Tibetan Family
The Sino-Tibetan Family consists of Mandarin Chinese. Languages in this language family are made up of one syllable words, but there are MANY. There is no simple alphabet to form these words, which causes the vast number of Chinese characters, making it one of the hardest languages to learn. You also must learn to speak, read, and write all separately. There is no reading a word and being able to speak it, nor can you hear one and guess on how it is spelled. Writing is still completely on it's own even if you can read, because you have to use proper stroke orders! Very time consuming to learn.
There are also several tones in these languages. A change in pitch while saying a word could change the meaning of the word completely. It makes the language sound very pretty when spoken, but is incredibly difficult to learn!
Sentence Structure
As with many Asian languages, a common fact you will notice is many of the languages follow an SOV sentence structure. That is, Subject, Object, Verb. English tends to place the verb after the subject of the sentence. Asian languages place the verb at the very end of the sentence. The most important part of the sentence is saved for last :) Don't we all save the best for last?
Although much of the culture evolves around the language, there is plenty more to culture. Korean culture is amazing in every way. Look forward to future articles covering Korean culture!
Birthday Flowers
Birthdays are one thing you can count on. We all have them and I'm willing to bet, all of your family members and friends have them too. Sometimes birthdays seem to roll around quickly. You can't believe it's been a whole year since you found the perfect gift for your cousin Susie, and now it's time to deliver again.
Whether the birthday boy or girl is a friend, lover or just an acquaintance, flowers can be ordered and designed to say just the right thing. Flowers have so much going for them, it's a wonder you haven't thought of this before!
Think of the blossoms as building blocks. Each has color, texture and form. They each have a personality and many have a tradition. The rose is elegant and says love. The carnation is sturdy and says you can count on me. The orchid is exotic and dares you to dream.
Next, think of your florist as an architect. She uses the building blocks to design a birthday greeting. An architect won't design a home for you until she has spent time with you and discovered your personality and your needs. A good florist should be asking a couple of questions to help her design the floral piece that says just what you want to say.
No, we're not talking about a million dollar home, were just talking about a birthday bouquet. Still, you should try to convey the message you are trying to send when you order your flowers from the florist. Your florist can translate your words into flowers. Using words like Romantic, Festive, Bright, Soft, Extravagant, Elegant, Simple, Fun, Young, Classic, Natural, Earthy or Modern will help your florist understand the personality she is fitting.
You can send flowers with little or no thought, and they'll probably be just fine. The enclosure card will say "Happy Birthday", and the message will get through. Or, you can invest just a few minutes into the process and choose flowers in a design that expresses the personality and message that fits the situation. Remember, it's the thought that counts and you really should put some thought into the order. It'll be worth the investment, I promise.
Karen Marinelli is a Floral Industry Professional with nineteen years of experience in the academic, retail and wholesale sectors of the industry. She believes the common goal should be to sell more flowers to more people, more often.
Whether the birthday boy or girl is a friend, lover or just an acquaintance, flowers can be ordered and designed to say just the right thing. Flowers have so much going for them, it's a wonder you haven't thought of this before!
Think of the blossoms as building blocks. Each has color, texture and form. They each have a personality and many have a tradition. The rose is elegant and says love. The carnation is sturdy and says you can count on me. The orchid is exotic and dares you to dream.
Next, think of your florist as an architect. She uses the building blocks to design a birthday greeting. An architect won't design a home for you until she has spent time with you and discovered your personality and your needs. A good florist should be asking a couple of questions to help her design the floral piece that says just what you want to say.
No, we're not talking about a million dollar home, were just talking about a birthday bouquet. Still, you should try to convey the message you are trying to send when you order your flowers from the florist. Your florist can translate your words into flowers. Using words like Romantic, Festive, Bright, Soft, Extravagant, Elegant, Simple, Fun, Young, Classic, Natural, Earthy or Modern will help your florist understand the personality she is fitting.
You can send flowers with little or no thought, and they'll probably be just fine. The enclosure card will say "Happy Birthday", and the message will get through. Or, you can invest just a few minutes into the process and choose flowers in a design that expresses the personality and message that fits the situation. Remember, it's the thought that counts and you really should put some thought into the order. It'll be worth the investment, I promise.
Karen Marinelli is a Floral Industry Professional with nineteen years of experience in the academic, retail and wholesale sectors of the industry. She believes the common goal should be to sell more flowers to more people, more often.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Why Online Dating is So Tough For Men
Online dating has become increasingly popular over the past several years. Every year millions of men turn to internet dating in an effort to meet more women without risking face-to-face rejection. Unfortunately, internet dating doesnt work very well for most men because the odds are so heavily against them.
According to a November, 2003 study by Jupiter Research, men are four times more likely than women to subscribe to an online dating site and twice as likely to browse, post, or respond to a profile. Obviously, those odds are stacked strongly in favor of the women.
When it comes to internet dating, to paraphrase James Brown, its a womans world.
This is quite a contrast from the off-line world, where attractive women are not approached nearly as often as men might think.
While doing research for my book, Take Action: How to Meet Women and Get Dates, I surveyed over fifty single women in their twenties or thirties about being approached by men and their views on being hit on and dating in general.
The most striking finding from the survey was that most women very clearly want men to be more daring about approaching them. In response to the question, should men be more bold in approaching women, 82% responded yes.
With a lot of effort and time, online dating can work for some men but it is not easy. You will probably have more success with internet dating by viewing it as a supplement to other methods of meeting women, instead of relying on it as your sole method. Also, use one of the larger services like match.com. You will need to use a shotgun approach and will therefore want to make sure you are in as target-rich an environment as possible.
But if you really want to meet and date a lot of women you will probably need to do it the old fashioned way. Approach women in person.
As the old saying goes, the more things change the more things stay the same.
When it comes to meeting women, a confident man who can approach a beautiful woman and strike up a conversation with her will always do better than the 99% of men who cannot. Technology might change a lot, but it will never change that.
Kenneth Scott is the author of Take Action: How to Take Action and Meet Girls, which is available at amazon.com and http://www.dating-pickup-lines.com. He is married to a beautiful, intelligent woman he met at the grocery store.
According to a November, 2003 study by Jupiter Research, men are four times more likely than women to subscribe to an online dating site and twice as likely to browse, post, or respond to a profile. Obviously, those odds are stacked strongly in favor of the women.
When it comes to internet dating, to paraphrase James Brown, its a womans world.
This is quite a contrast from the off-line world, where attractive women are not approached nearly as often as men might think.
While doing research for my book, Take Action: How to Meet Women and Get Dates, I surveyed over fifty single women in their twenties or thirties about being approached by men and their views on being hit on and dating in general.
The most striking finding from the survey was that most women very clearly want men to be more daring about approaching them. In response to the question, should men be more bold in approaching women, 82% responded yes.
With a lot of effort and time, online dating can work for some men but it is not easy. You will probably have more success with internet dating by viewing it as a supplement to other methods of meeting women, instead of relying on it as your sole method. Also, use one of the larger services like match.com. You will need to use a shotgun approach and will therefore want to make sure you are in as target-rich an environment as possible.
But if you really want to meet and date a lot of women you will probably need to do it the old fashioned way. Approach women in person.
As the old saying goes, the more things change the more things stay the same.
When it comes to meeting women, a confident man who can approach a beautiful woman and strike up a conversation with her will always do better than the 99% of men who cannot. Technology might change a lot, but it will never change that.
Kenneth Scott is the author of Take Action: How to Take Action and Meet Girls, which is available at amazon.com and http://www.dating-pickup-lines.com. He is married to a beautiful, intelligent woman he met at the grocery store.
Internet Dating - Its Not For Geeks
Six months ago an old school friend and I were chatting over coffee, putting the world to rights as women do. She was bemoaning her lack of success in meeting the "right sort" of men. I asked her if she had tried using an internet dating service, and the look of horror that quickly appeared on her face gave the instant answer ? of course not! Internet dating, she informed me, was for the sad, desperate, geeky or freaky.
Sadly this type of response is typical of people from all walks of life. Why sadly? Because those who instantly dismiss such services are missing out on a great opportunity.
The traditional argument for not using the internet to meet someone is that it is not natural. So what is natural? Where have people traditionally met their husbands, wives, lovers, and friends? Statistically, over the past 50 years the most common place for meeting ones spouse has been the workplace. This is hardly surprising given the ever increasing amounts of time most people are finding themselves working. Other common meeting places include bars, nightclubs, and parties, and some lucky few meet their lifetime partner early in life at college or university. However, the workplace remains number one for long term relationships. The reason for this is simple; lasting long term relationships are usually born out of robust friendships, and strong friendships form over time. Spend eight hours a day five days a week with the same people and you will get to know them very well. It is not uncommon in the modern world to spend more time with your colleagues than with your family, an unfortunate but true fact of life.
The increasing amounts of time we as a society are spending working is leaving less time to spend in social environments outside of the office, which means less opportunity to meet new people. So if you don't meet someone at work, where else is there? Enter the dating agency.
Dating agencies are not a new idea, they have been around a very long time. The internet has simply served as a new medium for bringing people together in a tried and tested way that agencies have used for years. However, it offers some unique advantages for those seeking a partner. Firstly it has lowered the cost of running a dating service, and that means agency dating has been opened up to a much wider audience. Secondly, it has broken down geographical barriers in a way that off-line agencies could never hope to. This is an important point because not everyone is looking for their future husband or wife on their doorstep. Indeed not everyone is looking for a future husband or wife; the explosion in internet dating has made it easier than ever to find new friends and correspondents across the globe.
These two points mean that some of the bigger agency sites now have in excess of three million members, and literally thousands of new members joining every day. With that many people, if you are serious about finding a partner, lover, or a friend, then the internet is simply too big a resource to ignore. And 'net dating is safe too; there is no need to exchange real names or even email addresses until you feel you know someone well enough. All the services allow you to block unwanted communication and so there is no fear of being pestered. Used sensibly, internet dating can be safer than almost any other way of meeting people.
The internet has revolutionised the way we work, shop, conduct our financial affairs, and entertain ourselves. To use it as a medium for meeting new people is a logical step in our fast changing world.
After that chat six months ago I convinced my friend to post a profile on a dating site, she didn't even have to pay anything to do so unless she wanted to start sending messages to other people. Now I never see her because she is spending all of her time with her new man. She didn't find him in five minutes like some of the sales pitches would like you to believe, but then six months ago she didn't expect to find him at all.
About The Author:
Sara Blackmoore is a relationship counselor and regular contributor to http://www.dating-webreview.co
Sadly this type of response is typical of people from all walks of life. Why sadly? Because those who instantly dismiss such services are missing out on a great opportunity.
The traditional argument for not using the internet to meet someone is that it is not natural. So what is natural? Where have people traditionally met their husbands, wives, lovers, and friends? Statistically, over the past 50 years the most common place for meeting ones spouse has been the workplace. This is hardly surprising given the ever increasing amounts of time most people are finding themselves working. Other common meeting places include bars, nightclubs, and parties, and some lucky few meet their lifetime partner early in life at college or university. However, the workplace remains number one for long term relationships. The reason for this is simple; lasting long term relationships are usually born out of robust friendships, and strong friendships form over time. Spend eight hours a day five days a week with the same people and you will get to know them very well. It is not uncommon in the modern world to spend more time with your colleagues than with your family, an unfortunate but true fact of life.
The increasing amounts of time we as a society are spending working is leaving less time to spend in social environments outside of the office, which means less opportunity to meet new people. So if you don't meet someone at work, where else is there? Enter the dating agency.
Dating agencies are not a new idea, they have been around a very long time. The internet has simply served as a new medium for bringing people together in a tried and tested way that agencies have used for years. However, it offers some unique advantages for those seeking a partner. Firstly it has lowered the cost of running a dating service, and that means agency dating has been opened up to a much wider audience. Secondly, it has broken down geographical barriers in a way that off-line agencies could never hope to. This is an important point because not everyone is looking for their future husband or wife on their doorstep. Indeed not everyone is looking for a future husband or wife; the explosion in internet dating has made it easier than ever to find new friends and correspondents across the globe.
These two points mean that some of the bigger agency sites now have in excess of three million members, and literally thousands of new members joining every day. With that many people, if you are serious about finding a partner, lover, or a friend, then the internet is simply too big a resource to ignore. And 'net dating is safe too; there is no need to exchange real names or even email addresses until you feel you know someone well enough. All the services allow you to block unwanted communication and so there is no fear of being pestered. Used sensibly, internet dating can be safer than almost any other way of meeting people.
The internet has revolutionised the way we work, shop, conduct our financial affairs, and entertain ourselves. To use it as a medium for meeting new people is a logical step in our fast changing world.
After that chat six months ago I convinced my friend to post a profile on a dating site, she didn't even have to pay anything to do so unless she wanted to start sending messages to other people. Now I never see her because she is spending all of her time with her new man. She didn't find him in five minutes like some of the sales pitches would like you to believe, but then six months ago she didn't expect to find him at all.
About The Author:
Sara Blackmoore is a relationship counselor and regular contributor to http://www.dating-webreview.co
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Relationhip Advice: How to Have Fun Together
Work. Bills. Kids. Chores.
Etc.
All these things get in the way of enjoying being a couple, and having fun together gets left behind.
I mentioned this recently on the Steve and Sara show on Magic 107.1, and got a few e-mails asking me how to have fun as a couple when you are so busy.
At first I was stunned that people were asking how to have fun. Then as I thought about it, I began to realize that many people forget as they get caught up in getting through each day.
So here are three tips on having fun:
1) I have an old Family Circus comic in my office with just two panels to the story. In the first panel, Mom and Dad are inside, watching a very learned looking gentleman on television speak on the fundamentals of having fun. The next panel shows the kids outside, you guessed it, having fun. If you have forgotten how to have fun, watch a kid, because they have not forgotten.
2) Make a list of 5 to 8 things you like to do for fun. If you can't think of five things you like to do for fun, my office hours are ...
Then look over your list and check off the things you have done in the last day, week or month. If you are like most of us, there are not many checks.
3) Pick one thing from the list and commit to doing it within the next week. Do it, and then you will have made 100 percent improvement over what you have done recently. Then pick another, and then another, and so on.
And the couple that has fun together has a much better chance of staying together.
Jeff Herring is a Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Syndicated Relationship Columnist. Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for more relationship tips and tools, a f'ree internet newsletter and f'ree e-programs to enrich your relationship.
Etc.
All these things get in the way of enjoying being a couple, and having fun together gets left behind.
I mentioned this recently on the Steve and Sara show on Magic 107.1, and got a few e-mails asking me how to have fun as a couple when you are so busy.
At first I was stunned that people were asking how to have fun. Then as I thought about it, I began to realize that many people forget as they get caught up in getting through each day.
So here are three tips on having fun:
1) I have an old Family Circus comic in my office with just two panels to the story. In the first panel, Mom and Dad are inside, watching a very learned looking gentleman on television speak on the fundamentals of having fun. The next panel shows the kids outside, you guessed it, having fun. If you have forgotten how to have fun, watch a kid, because they have not forgotten.
2) Make a list of 5 to 8 things you like to do for fun. If you can't think of five things you like to do for fun, my office hours are ...
Then look over your list and check off the things you have done in the last day, week or month. If you are like most of us, there are not many checks.
3) Pick one thing from the list and commit to doing it within the next week. Do it, and then you will have made 100 percent improvement over what you have done recently. Then pick another, and then another, and so on.
And the couple that has fun together has a much better chance of staying together.
Jeff Herring is a Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Syndicated Relationship Columnist. Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for more relationship tips and tools, a f'ree internet newsletter and f'ree e-programs to enrich your relationship.
Your Relationships Begin With You
As a single male in my mid-twenties, I find myself consciously and unconsciously thinking about and searching for that special someone. My goal has always been to be friends with my future wife for at least a year, date for a year, engaged for a year, which includes being married by the time I'm thirty.
This goal may seem far-fetched and I admit it is, so I'm open to altering it. I know what I want in a future spouse (I think) and I definitely know what I don't want. But the older I get, the more I realize that the challenge to find someone who fits what I want and what I don't want seems like "mission: impossible." My impatience steps in which seems to prolong my wait to meet this future wife of mine.
Occasionally, I reflect on the thought that she is out there somewhere so I wonder what she is doing at that very moment and if she is thinking of me. As much as I am actively trying to find someone, I'm reminded by my friends how they found their special someone when they were least expecting to. I have to remind myself and know that God will introduce me to her and reveal who she is when we are both ready.
So does that mean I'm not ready? I think I am, but at times I have my doubts. Maybe she isn't ready, which could mean that she is doing something to better herself for our relationship. I'll always go back to the question of if I'm ready or not. How will I know? I believe the answer lies in how I respond to the following questions:
I ask myself if I'm financially ready. Who is? I graduated college a couple of years ago and have already went through two career changes and I have been laid off. Needless to say, my checkbook is nowhere near where I want it to be, I won't even mention credit cards. So I need to think more about saving for my future, buying a house, and paying off some bills. After all, I don't want to drag her into my debt and spending habits. I know that I need to better myself in regards to finances.
I ask myself, am I physically fit and attractive? The honest answer is that I'm not in as good of shape as I'd like to be and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I know I need to join a gym, look online for articles about cooking healthier for bachelors, and watch how many times I go out to eat. What is a better motivator to working out besides looking good for yourself and gaining that confidence, than wanting to look good for your significant other? After all, I hope my wife is attracted to me as I am to her.
I ask myself, am I smart? With a college degree I think so, until I watch shows like Jeopardy or play board games with friends and I realize that I still have a lot to learn. I am thinking of going back to school. After all, I want my wife to think I'm intelligent.
I ask myself if I'm in the spiritual place with God that I want to be. Do I attend church every week? Do I read the Bible each day? Am I asking more from God than I am thanking Him during prayer? Am I a good example for others and am I teaching them about God? After all, I hope my future wife and I can pray together and maybe take a leadership role in a youth group.
I ask myself, am I happy as an individual? A relationship can bring happiness and fill the void of being alone, but should I put that burden on my future wife? If you are comfortable being yourself, being happy alone and don't need someone, that is a step in the right direction. I believe that needing someone to fill a void and wanting someone to fill a void are two entirely different things. This is why your relationships begin with you. After all, if you don't love yourself, then how do you expect someone else to?
"Happiness depends upon ourselves"~ Aristotle
When you fulfill the above aspects of your life to an acceptable extent - then watch out, your future spouse may just be at the local bookstore, in the gym, at church, at work, at school, or at the bank. I don't expect to be able to accomplish each of these things in the next four years, but I will always strive to do so. After all, I hope she will always strive to do the same. And most of all, I hope we will continue to strive to do these things together!
Chad J. Bring is a rising author who just published his first novel, "Left Standing" in addition to co-writing a screenplay for an independent film through their RoomMate Productions film production company
This goal may seem far-fetched and I admit it is, so I'm open to altering it. I know what I want in a future spouse (I think) and I definitely know what I don't want. But the older I get, the more I realize that the challenge to find someone who fits what I want and what I don't want seems like "mission: impossible." My impatience steps in which seems to prolong my wait to meet this future wife of mine.
Occasionally, I reflect on the thought that she is out there somewhere so I wonder what she is doing at that very moment and if she is thinking of me. As much as I am actively trying to find someone, I'm reminded by my friends how they found their special someone when they were least expecting to. I have to remind myself and know that God will introduce me to her and reveal who she is when we are both ready.
So does that mean I'm not ready? I think I am, but at times I have my doubts. Maybe she isn't ready, which could mean that she is doing something to better herself for our relationship. I'll always go back to the question of if I'm ready or not. How will I know? I believe the answer lies in how I respond to the following questions:
I ask myself if I'm financially ready. Who is? I graduated college a couple of years ago and have already went through two career changes and I have been laid off. Needless to say, my checkbook is nowhere near where I want it to be, I won't even mention credit cards. So I need to think more about saving for my future, buying a house, and paying off some bills. After all, I don't want to drag her into my debt and spending habits. I know that I need to better myself in regards to finances.
I ask myself, am I physically fit and attractive? The honest answer is that I'm not in as good of shape as I'd like to be and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I know I need to join a gym, look online for articles about cooking healthier for bachelors, and watch how many times I go out to eat. What is a better motivator to working out besides looking good for yourself and gaining that confidence, than wanting to look good for your significant other? After all, I hope my wife is attracted to me as I am to her.
I ask myself, am I smart? With a college degree I think so, until I watch shows like Jeopardy or play board games with friends and I realize that I still have a lot to learn. I am thinking of going back to school. After all, I want my wife to think I'm intelligent.
I ask myself if I'm in the spiritual place with God that I want to be. Do I attend church every week? Do I read the Bible each day? Am I asking more from God than I am thanking Him during prayer? Am I a good example for others and am I teaching them about God? After all, I hope my future wife and I can pray together and maybe take a leadership role in a youth group.
I ask myself, am I happy as an individual? A relationship can bring happiness and fill the void of being alone, but should I put that burden on my future wife? If you are comfortable being yourself, being happy alone and don't need someone, that is a step in the right direction. I believe that needing someone to fill a void and wanting someone to fill a void are two entirely different things. This is why your relationships begin with you. After all, if you don't love yourself, then how do you expect someone else to?
"Happiness depends upon ourselves"~ Aristotle
When you fulfill the above aspects of your life to an acceptable extent - then watch out, your future spouse may just be at the local bookstore, in the gym, at church, at work, at school, or at the bank. I don't expect to be able to accomplish each of these things in the next four years, but I will always strive to do so. After all, I hope she will always strive to do the same. And most of all, I hope we will continue to strive to do these things together!
Chad J. Bring is a rising author who just published his first novel, "Left Standing" in addition to co-writing a screenplay for an independent film through their RoomMate Productions film production company
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